Can You Imagine That? REWRITTEN
by garfieldodie
Summary: While going for a toboggan ride in the snow one afternoon, Calvin and Hobbes stumble upon a secret underground tunnel that will change the course of their entire lives.
1. It's a Magical World

**Author's Notes: **_Surprise! I wrote this story originally back in 2004 with the burning question - what would happen if Calvin and his alter-egos actually met and could interact with each other? This is the story that started it all. Let us pause for a moment of respect, shall we?_

_..._

_Okay, enough that. Enjoy!_

* * *

The snow was falling nice and thick across the deep woods. Everything was buried in a thick blanket of frozen rain, muffling out the usual sounds of the forest. All the animals were in deep hibernation, the birds had flown south for the winter, and the various members of mankind were hidden away in their precious suburbs, wrapped in blankets, watching television or playing music, blocking out the world around them.

All except one.

A small boy in his winter best was struggling along in the waist-high snow, marveling at everything around him like it was an alien world he had never been on before. Behind him carrying a wooden toboggan was a tiger who just happened to have opposable thumbs, the ability to speak, and a red scarf that went well with his yellow-ochre fur with black stripes.

They arrived at the top of a hill and marveled at what they saw.

"Wow, it really snowed last night!" Calvin cheered. "Isn't it wonderful?"

The tiger smiled in agreement. "Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new!"

"A new year… A fresh, clean start!"

"It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on!"

"A day full of possibilities!"

They laid out the toboggan and crawled on. Calvin took the helm while Hobbes got behind to push.

"It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy," Calvin declared as they set off down the hill. "Let's go exploring!"

And they raced down the hill, listening to the sound of the toboggan crunching along the snow as gravity pulled it along.

They bumped and bounced along, skidding around, leaning left and right to avoid trees and rocks, squealing from the adrenalin rush of zooming along to certain doom.

"Speaking of the New Year, did you make any resolutions this year?" Hobbes asked.

"I resolved to just wing it and see what happens. We talked about this yesterday, remember?"

"I was hoping you'd come up with another one."

"Why? What are you insinuating? Are you saying I need to change who I am?!"

"I was actually going to suggest you resolve to do something practical."

"Such as?"

"Installing seatbelts on this thing!"

"Oh! Well, we tried tying rope around our waists."

"We didn't tie it to the toboggan."

"Well, if we tied it to the toboggan, we wouldn't be able to bail out in a hurry."

"Hmmmm… I suppose bringing scissors would be a little dangerous."

"Probably."

"What about Velcro? We would only have to unstrap it from around ourselves."

"Where do you buy Velcro?"

"There must be a store somewhere."

"I'll ask Mom to buy some for us next time she goes grocery shopping so we can experiment."

"Good. Then you can resolve to install airbags."

"We tried bringing pillows along!"

"We held them in our faces the whole way down."

"Okay, okay, fine! Stop being such a sissy!"

Calvin leaned to the side so that the toboggan would turn left. Despite the inability to truly steer this thing, he had learned a few tricks over the years. He aimed them for a small incline that dropped suddenly on the other side. With the velocity they were achieving, they raced onwards until they hit the incline and soared through the air.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!" they cheered.

Of course, one thing Calvin failed to consider was the fact that if you go up at an angle, you come down at an equal and opposite angle, and it's very difficult to change directions in mid-air once your trajectory is set.

Calvin's jubilant smile vanished as the location of their landing revealed itself as being a great big frozen lake.

"Uh-oh. Hang on."

They both held onto both sides of the toboggan as they felt gravity reclaiming them, and they came down on top of the frozen lake, skidding along the ice, bouncing a bit as they went along. They skidded across the smooth surface until they finally reached the other side and bounced along onto the snow, continuing along their way down another valley.

Hobbes opened his eyes and looked around. "Oh! Well, we got out of that one."

"I know. I feel gypped."

They soared down the hill, which seemed to be getting steeper and steeper all the time. There were more rocks and trees, forcing Calvin to get very creative in avoiding them all. With each obstacle, he was constantly leaning left and right to avoid them all.

"Where'd all these trees and rocks come from?!" Hobbes shouted, hanging on as he was jerked around in the back.

"I don't know! I've never been down this way before!" Calvin replied.

"Oh joy. We're going to get lost and freeze death. How incredibly exciting."

Calvin ignored him and focused on the path ahead.

The trees around them seemed to be forming into walls, causing them to focus on what was just ahead, and just ahead was a narrow lane of trees and what appeared to be another slope leading downwards.

With no other choice, Calvin aimed for it. He slotted perfectly between the trees and sailed between them…

…straight off the edge of a huge cliff.

They looked down into the chasm below with growing dread.

"Do you want to mime taking off a seatbelt for practice?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure. Let's go."

They mimed fumbling with seatbelts for a few moments as gravity claimed them and started to bring them down. They jumped off of the toboggan and let it peel away from them, heading towards a gathering of sharp rocks.

By pushing off of the toboggan, they flew through the air and headed straight for a thicket of bushes. They curled up into balls before they hit, landing with a crunch as several branches proceeded to break their falls. They both yelped in pain as they fell, bouncing off of them before falling into a heap in the snow.

They weren't badly hurt. Calvin reached into his hair and proceeded to pull out twigs and branches before realizing his snowcap was missing. He found it dangling from a considerable distance from one of the few branches they hadn't broken.

Hobbes had landed on his feet and was trying to clean himself up. His fur was full of burs and bits of wood.

"Well!" he said irritably. "That was fun."

Calvin stretched a kink out of his neck before jumping up and snatching his cap out of the branches. He stretched it back over his spiky blonde hair and looked around. "Where are we?" he asked.

"Well, we came from that direction," Hobbes replied, pointing at the top of the cliff. "We can just go back the way we came, find the lake, and then we should be able to retrace our steps back to familiar territory by following the indentation the toboggan left behind." He thought for a moment. "Of course, we'll have to find a way to scale the side of the cliff."

"Darn. I forgot my grappling hook," Calvin deadpanned.

"Then we'll have to go around the hill."

"Great."

They gathered up the toboggan, which was scratched and had a busted corner, but otherwise was all right. They carried it between themselves and headed down the left side of the cliff face.

They trudged through the snow in silence for a while. They listened to the sound of the wind howling, the snow crunching beneath their feet and the steam escaping from their nostrils as they breathed in and out.

They enjoyed this companionable silence for some time. This was one of the times that they enjoyed the most about winter. They didn't have to stop and think about anything at all. They didn't have to worry about bugs biting them or homework due on Monday. They were totally at ease for the next few days.

School started again on the following Wednesday. Today was Sunday. As far as Calvin was concerned, any day where he was outside and not being forced to conform to the ideals of what a child should be to the public school system was a good day.

Nothing good awaited him at school. Just his teacher, who delighted in assigning massive amounts of homework on a nice weekend, just his tormentor, Moe, who delighted in picking on him just because he was bigger than he was. Just the other students, who were always disturbed by him and picking on him when they felt he wasn't conforming to their ideals of what was socially acceptable.

Yeah, he was in no hurry for it to be Wednesday.

They continued on in perfect silence for a few more minutes.

Then Hobbes made an announcement.

"Hey! What's that?"

Calvin followed the finger Hobbes was pointing with and saw something that took him by surprise.

In the side of the cliff face was a large opening.

"Cool! It's a cave!" Calvin cried, immediately dropping his half of the toboggan and running in that direction.

Hobbes took the toboggan under his arm and headed in that direction as well.

They ran up to the opening, and they looked deep inside. They were surprised to see how deeply into darkness the cave's depths plunged.

"Wow…," Calvin said quietly. "Let's take a closer look."

"What for?" Hobbes asked.

"As explorers, Hobbes! What other reason is there for doing this sort of thing?"

"Stupidity? Suicide?"

"Oh, stop it. Come on. I'll bet there's some sort of treasure or something at the end of this cave."

"Or, possibly, the skeletal remains of the last little kid who came back here."

"Cool! Come on!"

Calvin dashed into the darkness.

Hobbes shook his head, stashed the toboggan against the mouth of the café and followed him.

As they walked, they realized that something about this cave seemed really weird.

"Something about this cave doesn't seem right," Hobbes noted.

"What do you mean?" Calvin asked.

"Well, look at the walls. They're so smooth. It's almost like it's manmade."

"Who would want to build a cave out here?"

"I don't know. The same people who bulldozed the forest to build condos?"

"Oh, great! People can't get their kicks out of running out rabbits and deer? Now they want to kick out gophers and moles? Think of the innocent earthworms who are suddenly nomad!"

"Well, man doesn't like the idea of nature being more powerful than him. He has to keep doing things to ensure that his place in the world isn't threatened."

As they talked, they didn't realize they were still walking until a little bit later.

"This cave certainly goes on for a long way," Hobbes remarked.

"Yeah. I wonder if it's even a cave. Maybe it's a tunnel!" Calvin said excitedly.

They walked deeper and deeper into the cave or tunnel or whatever it was until they finally found the end of it.

They stared at what they had found.

It was a massive steel door reflected in the dim sunlight that could reach them.

"What's this doing here?" Calvin demanded.

"Maybe it's a country club," Hobbes suggested.

"A country club?"

"Sure. Maybe this is the new hideaway for all the rich people that live down here now."

Calvin stared at the door for a long moment before he saw a keypad on the wall. He walked over to the wall and looked up at it.

"I think you're right. It's got a keypad. We'll have to crack the code to get inside."

"What? Why?"

"So we can get inside! Duh!"

"Why do we need to get inside?"

"I wanna see the underground condos! Maybe I can convince Mom and Dad to live down here!"

"I doubt that would happen. A condo community tends to be very upstate, and everyone has plastic grass and nothing in their front lawns."

"So?"

"Plus, they live underground. They probably don't have any sun down there."

"They'll have an artificial sun! They'll have prepared for moving down here, Hobbes. They're not stupid! They're rich! They _can't_ be stupid! They had to get all that money from _somewhere_!"

"But what if they don't approve of tigers? People who live underground strike me as being people who are afraid of something – in this case, the real world. They're a very sheltered people, clearly. Maybe having a wild animal such as myself wandering around might cause unnecessary alarm. Suppose they order one of their man servants to shoot me?"

"Then they'll have _me _to deal with. Now come on. Let's go inside."

Calvin attempted to reach the buttons on the keypad, but he was too short to reach adequately.

"Er, Hobbes? Would you mind?"

Hobbes sighed. "Okay, okay…"

The tiger walked over to the keypad and proceeded to press the buttons at random.

They watched the door, waiting a few moments for something to happen.

Suddenly, something dropped from the ceiling of the cave and hung in the air. It began to flash bright red.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Intruder alert!"

Calvin and Hobbes jumped in shock, looking around.

"Boy, rich people really are a nervous bunch!" Calvin exclaimed.

"It's catching," Hobbes replied shakily, clutching his chest.

Then, only adding to their panic, more flashing red lights began to line the ceiling of the cave, and an alarm claxon sounded, forcing them to cover their ears.

"RUN!" Calvin shouted.

The two friends sprinted back up the tunnel. They ran as fast as they could from the hellish tunnel as flashes of red continued to line the path.

Finally, they emerged at the entrance, and they both tripped and fell into the snow. They looked back over their shoulders and watched as the lights continued to flash and the claxon continued to ring out, even though they weren't in there anymore.

"What do we do?!" Hobbes cried.

"We get out of here!" Calvin replied. "Grab the toboggan!"

They ran to where Hobbes had stashed their slightly scratched mode of transport. They flung it down on the ground and proceeded to get on, but they stopped when they noticed a new sound coming from the cavern. It was a loud roaring noise, but it sounded mechanical.

"What was that?!" Calvin yelled over the claxon,

Hobbes cupped his ear and listened carefully. "Sounds like a car engine starting!"

"Oh, great! They're sending their security cops after us! Let's get out of here!"

Calvin jumped onto the front of the toboggan, and Hobbes got behind and pushed, sending them down a slope, and he jumped onto the back.

They raced downhill, further and further from the cave, leaving the loud noises behind. They were relieved to see trees and bushes surrounding them as they flew faster and faster.

"That was close!" Hobbes exclaimed.

"I'll say! Who would've thought a bunch of underground rich people would be so paranoid! We weren't going to do anything to them!"

As they were riding along, racing through the woods, Hobbes' acute sense of hearing picked up the noise from earlier, and he realized it was getting louder. He looked over his shoulder and realized that it was coming in their direction. He was growing more and more certain that whatever was behind them was a vehicle of some sort.

Moments later, from around a corner something very large came plowing through the snow after them.

It looked like a fairground bumper car, but it had snow tires and a plow on the front surging through the thick snow. It was red in color with a blue stripe going straight between the headlights, and there seemed to be a man at the wheel.

What _really_ unnerved Hobbes, however, was the gigantic mechanical set of steel jaws that were reaching for them, slowly extending while hissing and creaking awkwardly.

"I think we've got company," he said nervously.

Calvin looked back at the strange vehicle, tried to muffle a scream and gripped the toboggan tighter, trying to figure out how to handle the situation without coming across as panicky.

The vehicle was coming closer, with the claw reaching further and further.

Calvin saw that the trees were growing thicker, and he was pleased when he saw a narrow gap that they could just squeeze through. Aiming carefully, he leaned left and right, trying to line up the toboggan with the trees.

And they _just _made it.

Hobbes opened his eyes, having closed them beforehand. Looking panicky was okeydokey with him.

"We lost him!" Calvin cried triumphantly. "He won't be able to get out of there!"

But it wasn't to be. There was a sound of heavy wood splintering, and they looked back in time to see an entire tree being uprooted and tossed aside like a matchstick by the giant claw. Whoever was driving didn't even lose momentum. They just kept on coming.

"Hope nobody lived in that tree," Hobbes muttered.

The toboggan raced onwards.

Then Calvin saw something else just ahead.

It was a chasm. Two cliffs that were quite far apart from each other lined it. Anyone with normal functioning eyesight could tell that it would take one heck of a jump to make it across.

"What do you say, Hobbes, ol' buddy?" Calvin asked warily. "Should we chance it?"

"Why not?" Hobbes sighed. "I wasn't going to do anything else today."

Ignoring the sarcasm, Calvin kept them going straight ahead for the cliff.

Hobbes took a quick peek over his shoulder and came face-to-face with the sharp pointy teeth of the claw as it reached closer and closer.

Calvin leaned forward, hoping a little extra weight would give them some speed.

"Here we go!" he cried.

Hobbes crossed his fingers.

The claw was almost upon them.

The cliff was right underneath them for a tenth of a second.

They sailed through the air, heading straight for the other side, screaming all the way.

And not a short distance behind them, the giant claw car sailed through the air after them, making strange noises without any ground to tread on.

Screaming and hollering, Calvin and Hobbes saw the other side coming closer and closer, and for a brief moment they didn't think they were going to make it.

They landed in the snow with a thud, sending a shower of white powder into the air.

The claw car didn't quite make it. It landed halfway on the cliff before tilting backwards and sliding over the edge.

Calvin and Hobbes dug themselves out the snow in time to see the top half of a pair jagged metal teeth dig into the side of the cliff, stopping it from falling completely.

"Whoa…," Calvin breathed.

Warily, the two friends wandered over to the edge and peeked over.

There was indeed a man climbing out of the car, trying to climb up the long arm of the claw. They couldn't tell what he looked like as he was wearing a heavy jacket, a scarf around his face and a snowcap on his head.

Before they could even contemplate whether they should help him or not, the claw arm suddenly extended, resulting in the vehicle dropping several feet, taking the man with it. He yelped in surprise but kept a firm grip.

Calvin and Hobbes weren't certain of what to do.

The weight of the vehicle on the arm caused it to extend even further, and each time, the man went with it, dropping several feet until finally, it had reached the end, and the arm was fully extended.

For a long moment, no one did anything.

Then, suddenly, the ground Calvin and Hobbes were kneeling on suddenly dipped downwards. In an instant, they realized that claw car was too heavy for the cliff, and the whole thing was going to crumble away any second.

With no options left, the two friends were forced to leap to their feet and run away, with their movement proving to be the catalyst that caused the cliff to completely separate from the rest of the hill and crumble away into the chasm.

They didn't hear a scream. They just heard the sound of earth collapsing as the metal claw vanished from view, leaving them alone as it fell several feet before crashing into whatever lay below.

For a long time, the two friends just sat there, panting heavily with emotion.

Finally, Calvin found his voice. "I'm only six years old. I don't need this."

Hobbes nodded. "I have to say. When I got up this morning, I didn't expect this is how my day was going to go."

They slowly got to their feet and dug out the toboggan.

"Let's get out of here," Calvin said, slowly calming down. "Wait until Mom and Dad hear about this!"

And with that, trudged away, relieved that their little misadventure was over.

But as they were disappearing into the woods, they didn't notice a gloved hand grip the side of the cliff. It was shortly followed by another hand.

Struggling to get onto solid ground, the man feverishly made it to the top. He hauled himself up and over and into the snow the retreating friends had just vacated. He looked around, but there was no one around. The two intruders had vanished.

Breathing heavily from both exhaustion and fury, he got to his feet and walked forwards.

He was following their footprints in the snow.


	2. Those With Stockings

Calvin's mother wasn't by any means an unpleasant woman. She had lots of friends, she had a book club, and she was happily married with a child. The problem was that sometimes the child was loud, obnoxious and full of his own ideas. She had given up a long time ago trying to get to the root of whatever the problem was. Calvin was clearly intelligent in his own right, even if he did lack in common sense. A part of her was quietly hoping that he was going to grow out of it one day. She wasn't holding her breath, but the kid couldn't be six forever, right?

At the moment, this tall thin woman was trying to prepare dinner. She wasn't by any means a bad cook, either. She was just creative. She could make tortellini, stuffed peppers, hamburger casserole and eggplant casserole. For some weird reason, however, everything she made looked like green mush, and for reasons that _she _thought was weird, Calvin didn't find green mush to be very appetizing.

As she was going through her cookbooks and getting everything ready, she heard the backdoor open, and she saw her son stagger in from the cold wearing his jacket and hat, and his stuffed tiger was draped over his shoulder, wearing one of her husband's scarves, which she secretly found adorable, but never bothered to say anything because carrying a stuffed tiger around everywhere was one of those things she hoped he would grow out of.

"_There_ you are," she said in that tone that only mothers seemed able to accurately express. "No walking across the kitchen floor in those wet boots."

Calvin grumbled as he proceeded to pull off the boots and set them next to the door. He started taking off his jacket, mittens and hat as well.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah!" she chided him. "Put those in the closet. I'm not looking for extra work around here."

Calvin felt frustration building up inside of him. As a child, he was still – what you might say – learning the ropes of what was acceptable and what was not in everyday society. Unfortunately for him, his parents seemed absolutely determined to make him into the perfect little gentleman, and he was really starting to resent them for that.

"Mom, guess what happened when Hobbes and I were out today!" he said as he gathered his things in his arms.

"Calvin, unless this is going to involve the police, I don't want to know about it."

"But there was this guy in the woods with a huge tunnel, and he was chasing us, but we jumped a cliff, and we – "

"Later, Calvin – I'm fixing dinner," she interrupted, focusing on the cookbook.

"But Mom!"

"Calvin, go bother your father, all right? I'm busy."

Calvin growled to himself and stalked off into the next room.

He found his father sitting in his chair, drinking hot tea and reading the paper.

"Dad! Dad! Guess what happened to Hobbes and me today!"

"I'm busy, Calvin," his father replied, not even looking up from his paper.

"No, you're not! You're just sitting there!"

"I'm reading the paper."

"That's not 'busy'. That's 'reading'."

"I'm busy reading."

"But Dad, Hobbes and I were attacked by this guy in the woods!"

"Calvin, don't say things like that. You'll only worry your mother."

"This guy was chasing us with this weird snow machine! We went into this weird tunnel in the woods, and we found this huge door and – "

"Calvin, enough," Dad groaned, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses tiredly. "I had a hard enough day at work. The last thing I need right now is to listen to some story you made up."

"But Dad!"

"Calvin, I'm already angry enough at you for not shoveling the walk this morning."

Calvin blinked in surprise. "But you never _told me_ to shovel the walk."

"Since when do I have to tell you to shovel the walk?"

"_Every_ time!"

"Tomorrow, you're shoveling that walk."

"Fine. Whatever."

Calvin sat down in front of the fireplace, watching the fire blaze. Hobbes curled up next to him, thinking to himself it was quite symbolic.

"Dear!" Mom called from the kitchen. "I need some help in here!"

Dad sighed to himself as he folded up the paper and stood up to leave.

"You put your precious paper down for _Mom_!" Calvin yelled.

"You'll understand when you're an adult," Dad replied, and he headed into the kitchen.

"Your parents are remarkably uninterested in what happens to us," Hobbes remarked sleepily.

"It depends," Calvin sighed. "Remember last year when we set the rug on fire?"

"So what should we do about the guy?"

Calvin shrugged. "There's not a lot we _can _do. The guy fell into the chasm. I'd say he's been dealt with."

"I suppose so… Let's not go in that direction ever again, okay?"

"Fair enough. I wonder how much roadblocks cost."

At that moment, they heard someone knocking at the door. They both sat up in surprise.

"Calvin, will you get that?" Mom's voice rang out from the kitchen.

The two friends stared at each other.

"What if it's him?" Hobbes asked.

"Don't panic," Calvin said quietly. "Maybe we can take him by surprise. Be ready to attack if necessary."

"Roger."

They cautiously walked up to the door. Calvin put his hand to the doorknob and gripped it.

Hobbes got into his usual pouncing position that he usually reserved for when Calvin was coming home from school. His tail flicked back and forth, and he narrowed his eyes as his body treaded on his toes.

Confident that they were ready, Calvin turned the doorknob and pulled the door open.

They were stunned by who was standing on their front step.

It was Galaxoid and Nebular standing there, wearing two Christmas stockings that had the names "Calvin" and "Hobbes" written in cursive writing around their tentacles.

The two friends stared in bewilderment.

"What the heck are you two doing here?!" Calvin demanded.

"We are soaking wet!" Galaxoid complained.

"Oh, good grief! You didn't realize that snow is cold?"

"No, we didn't realize that these new coats you gave us are not waterproof!"

Calvin groaned. "Oh, for crying out loud! Get in here! We'll take care of it."

The two aliens slithered inside, past Hobbes and into the living room where they saw the fire.

"Ahhh," Galaxoid said. "Nice and warm in here."

"Here," Calvin sighed. "Take the stockings off. We'll dry them over the fire."

Hobbes took the two stockings and pull them off of the two aliens, and he hung them over the fireplace where they had been before, letting the warmth dry them.

"Thank you, Earth Leader," Galaxoid sighed as they sat themselves down in front of the fire.

"This planet is constantly full of surprises," Nebular sighed.

"Why are you guys even still here?" Hobbes asked. "Can't you just go back to your own planet?"

"We are here to learn as much about the planet as possible," Galaxoid replied.

"You guys never really explained to us just what your mission statement was," Calvin pointed out. "You said Earth was prime real estate, but other than that, you didn't really clarify your cause. Why Earth? Aren't there other planets that are prime real estate?"

"Plenty," Nebular replied. "Earth was just next on the list."

"How do you mean? What's the list for?"

"Our people are intent on learning more about the universe. It is ever-expanding and changing, and there is much to learn. We immerse ourselves in the culture and learn more of it."

"How's it been going so far?" Hobbes asked.

"We're cold and soaked."

"Ah."

"Why are you guys still in _my_ neighborhood, though?" Calvin asked. "Why don't you just go somewhere else?"

The two aliens exchanged confused glances. "Somewhere else?"

"Calvin?" Mom's voice suddenly shouted.

Everyone jumped in surprise.

"Calvin, who's at the door?"

Calvin and Hobbes looked at each other in horror.

"What is the matter?" Galaxoid asked. "Who's that?"

"My mom," Calvin said quickly. "You guys need to hide before she sees you."

"Why?"

"Because… I, er, didn't tell the people of Earth that I sold the planet to you two."

"What? Why not?" Nebular asked.

"Well, because… You weren't hostile, and you weren't going to change anything, so we decided to keep it quiet! The people of this planet are primitive! If they'd heard that aliens were invading, there might have been an uprising!"

"And you didn't even tell your own _mother_?" Galaxoid demanded, seemingly aghast.

"Gotta say, that _does _sound kind of scummy," Hobbes remarked.

"Oh, shut up! Hide! Before she sees you!"

Galaxoid and Nebular ran around in circles before they both bumped each other and fell on the floor.

Getting an idea, Calvin and Hobbes promptly rolled the armless aliens under the sofa. "Sorry about this, guys," Calvin grunted, pushing them under.

They heard Mom's footsteps coming. They stood in front of the fireplace, trying to look as innocent as possible.

Then Hobbes chanced a glance at the fireplace and saw the stockings still hanging, with holes cut in them and dripping. Acting quickly, he yanked them down and tossed them behind the couch.

The very second they disappeared, Mom walked into the room.

She found her son and his stuffed tiger standing by the fire, looking disturbingly innocent.

"Who was at the door?" she asked.

"Oh, it was a door-to-door salesman selling snow shovels. I told him we already had one."

She stared at him for a long moment.

He just smiled winningly.

After a long moment, she gave up trying to figure out what he was hiding, seeing as how nothing was out of place, and with a defeated shrug, she turned and left the room.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, Calvin went over to the couch and looked under it at the two aliens glaring at him from underneath.

"Sorry about that, guys. She's gone now. Hobbes, help me lift the couch."

Hobbes walked over, and they lifted the couch up off of the two aliens, who crawled out from underneath, their uniforms wrinkled and covered in lint.

Calvin nabbed the stockings and hung them back over the fire.

"You have strange ways of running this planet, Earth Leader," Galaxoid remarked.

"To each his own," Calvin replied with a shrug. "I can't be the strangest Potentate you've ever met."

"True," Nebular said with a nod. "There was once a curious Potentate from the planet Androgynous VI who insisted on trying to eat its own foot. Fortunately, it was always able to grow a new one, so the thrill of the chase never faded."

Hobbes blinked. "Well, that's… quirky."

"We should probably depart," Galaxoid said firmly. "If your people are unaware of our presence, then we must make ourselves scarce. We shall return to our ship."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," Calvin agreed.

"Still, if you guys want a vacation, head for Mexico. It's still pretty warm this time of year," Hobbes suggested. "Most of our birds go there during the winter."

"Mexico, eh?" Galaxoid said, looking thoughtful. "Nebular – when we get back to the ship, prepare to plot a course for this 'Mexico'."

"I shall," Nebular replied.

"Okay! Everyone's happy!" Calvin said hurriedly, snatching down the now-dry stockings and draping them over the heads of the two aliens.

"Thank you for your advice, Earth Potentate," Galaxoid said, getting comfortable once again.

"Anytime. But next time – call first."

"How shall we reach you?"

"We'll work something out. See you guys later!"

Hobbes opened the door for the two aliens, and they slithered out into the snow.

The two friends watched them leave. It was a curious thing to watch two small upside-down Christmas stockings toddling off down a snowy sidewalk in the late evening.

"You know," said Hobbes quietly, "it's weird how just when I think there's some normalcy around here, something all new and extra-weird comes up to throw me for a loop."

"Yeah…," Calvin said with a grin. "Awesome, isn't it?"

"Calvin!" his mother's voice called out. "It's time for supper!"

The two friends exchanged glances.

"What do you think it is?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, it's the start of a New Year, so it's probably something symbolic."

"Eggplant casserole, then?"

"To symbolize that nothing ever changes around here."

They took one last glance down the sidewalk to make sure Galaxoid and Nebular were getting along their way all right.

"Hey, how come _we _never go anywhere tropical?" Hobbes asked.

"It's all about transport, Hobbes."

"What about your cardboard box? Couldn't we use that?"

"I've been meaning to modify it into an airplane, but I'm having trouble finding a decent fuel source. I've been experimenting with the citrusy properties of fruit juice, but I haven't hit on the right one just yet."

"Calvin, get in here! It's getting cold!"

Calvin snorted. "As if that'll make it anymore edible," he muttered.

Hobbes shook his head as he closed the door, and the two went inside.

As they were doing this, they didn't notice the shrubbery outside their house shift momentarily. A few moments later, a man crawled out from under it.

It was the man who had chased them earlier. He'd found the house.

He crawled out of the shrubs, cleaning himself off, trying to plan what to do next. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a worn-out old tape recorder. He pressed the record button and spoke into it.

"I've found the boy's house. He was talking to what appeared to be two small creatures with one eye and pale gray skin with no arms. Probably just little kids in costumes. Also, he still talks to that stuffed tiger. I can't imagine what for. Probably lonely if his only friends are toys and weirdoes in costumes. In other words, he seems ideal for my purposes. I shall have to make use of him. Still, I need more information. I need to make sure he's truly the right sort of kid."

He shut off the tape recorder and looked around. No one had spotted him just plain old staring at somebody's house.

Pleased with how things were progressing, he turned to leave. He stalked off down the sidewalk, rubbing his hands together, half from the cold, half with delight that his plans were finally coming to fruition.

But he didn't cackle madly. That was a cliché.


	3. An Encounter with Susie Derkins

**Author's Note: **_I'm going to be very busy tomorrow, as I'm sure many of you will be too, so I'm posting this chapter early._

* * *

Space…

One thing can be said for it: there sure is a lot of it.

Of course, in a universe that large, there was bound to be a lot in it. So many unknown elements that existed inside its ever-expanding massivness. Of course, to explore all that space would require bravery, curiosity, cunning and a bit of heroic stupidity. That was why the Spaceman Academy was created.

It was down to the Spacemen of the universe to figure out what was in it. They were trained in tracking down the odd and obscure and weird-as-heck creatures of the universe and gather as much information as possible about them.

We now join the most popular and accident prone of all the Spacemen – the legendary Spaceman Spiff.

His little red saucer was racing through the galaxy, heading straight for a bright blue planet that loomed up ahead. He was sick of the quietness that was a consequence of his solitude, so he quickly started narrating his adventure.

"_We join our hero – the intrepid Spaceman Spiff – as he comes in for a landing on an unclassified S3 planet in the Spiral Tron Nebula."_

Spiff's ship came in for a landing, settling down in the snow, which was being whipped around by a strong wind that was punctuated by thunder and lightning.

The airtight glass encasing around his cockpit opened, and the young space explorer crawled out into the tundra, remembering to grab his space earmuffs.

"_With winds registering up to fifteen miles per hour, our hero thanks his lucky stars he put on long underwear today."_

He trudged through the snow, forcing himself not to retreat back into the dry confines of his ship.

"_Our hero is here because he detected a faint distress signal. Reportedly, a fellow spaceman is in trouble, and he needs help urgently. Spiff, thankfully, has remembered to pack his new Death Ray Blaster. Hopefully, this one won't jam or fall apart as frequently as the old model."_

Spiff struggled through the snow, up and over a steep hill, constantly wiping his nose as his boogers ran. He was determined to complete his mission and escape before his lips became laced with his frozen snot.

Finally, he reached the top of the hill, and his heart froze from terror.

He'd found his fellow spaceman's ship. It looked like it had been completely ransacked.

"_Spiff's fellow spaceman seems to have been attacked. Our hero makes his way over to the ship's remains. From what he can tell, it wasn't the weather that caused this. The slashes through the seat cushions are too fine. Seems as though the computers sent out an automatic S.O.S. call to anyone passing by, inadvertently leading others into what could a hostile environment."_

Spiff looked around, trying to see if there was any sign of his fallen comrade, but there was no sign of him.

"_Our hero's keen sense of observation sees that there have been signs of a struggle, but the wind has obliterated any footprints. Our hero will have to rely on his wits alone."_

Just as he was about to start making a plan, he heard an otherworldly roar that caused him to spin around three times in surprise. He grabbed his blaster and looked in the direction it had come from.

A tall thin creature with three compound eyes and gangly limbs came up and over the hill. It looked angry. It looked like it was all set to devour Spiff.

"_Our hero is cornered! His only hope is to fight his way out and get back to his ship! Can he make it?!"_

"CALVIN, STOP WAVING THAT SHOVEL AROUND!"

Calvin blinked. He was in his own walkway, standing in snow that came up to his waist, holding a snow shovel like a baseball bat. His dad was standing on the front step, glaring down at him. He was wearing his business clothes, complete with black full-length coat, hat and briefcase.

"What on earth are you doing?" Dad demanded.

Calvin shook his head, trying to remember exactly what he _had _been doing. Whatever it was, he'd clearly gotten bored with it, hence the desire to escape into outer space.

Then he noticed that he was holding the snow shovel, and he was standing on the front walk, which was only half-clear of snow, while the rest leading up to the driveway was still buried.

"Oh…," he said awkwardly. "I was just… shoveling the walk and a fly flew past."

"Oh really?" Dad asked, clearly angry at the lie.

"Yeah! I was just trying to scare it off!"

"Calvin, I'm late for work!"

"How's that my fault? You've clearly only been standing there for about thirty seconds."

"You're going to make me later!"

"Dad, no one's going to blame you if you come to work with soggy shoes. It's that time of year!"

"FINISH SHOVELING THE WALK!"

Calvin flinched and immediately started shoveling like crazy, tossing it over his shoulder as he went.

Dad ducked a few times as the snow came straight at him, and he slammed the door in frustration.

Calvin took a moment to stick his tongue out at the closed door before he continued doing his job.

* * *

Finally, the chore was done, and his dad ran to his car and drove off to work without so much as a 'thank you' to his son.

Calvin didn't care. He was free now to do other things. He still had a few days of Christmas vacation left, and he intended to make use of it as best as he could. At the moment, he was busy in the front yard, working on another snow sculpture. It was one of a massive squid scooping up and devouring a bunch of generic snowmen.

Hobbes was walking past when he almost tripped over a snow-tentacle. He looked up at the sculpture, nodded at to it and slunk underneath it, approaching Calvin as he was just making one last generic snowman fleeing in abject terror.

"The neighborhood is so lucky your teacher didn't assign any school work over your vacation," the tiger remarked, taking in the view of the sculpture.

"I'll say," Calvin agreed, missing the sarcasm.

"Are you almost finished?"

"Never rush an artist, Hobbes."

"You haven't forgotten what today is, do you?"

"Monday?"

"And…?"

"Hobbes, I'm a busy man. I have lots going on. My social calendar is very busy."

"No, it isn't. I'm the only one you've ever willingly socialized with."

"Socializing with you can take a long time."

"Oh, like _you're_ so easy to live with?"

"Did you want something?!"

"What? Oh! Yes, we're scheduled to have a meeting in a few minutes, and we haven't even folded our symbols of office."

Calvin froze. "Ooh, you're right! Glad you remembered! Come on! Let's go grab the newspaper from Dad's chair and get started!"

They immediately left the snow sculptures where they were and ran back to the house.

They didn't realize that traffic had slowed down considerably as people gawked at them, taking pictures with their disposable cameras.

* * *

"This meeting of the **G**ET **R**ID **O**F **S**LIMY GIRL**S** Club will come to order! Dictator-for-Life Calvin presiding!" Calvin announced, looking out over the invisible crowds from the tree house.

"Hear, hear!" Hobbes called out, clapping his hands.

"President and First Tiger Hobbes will now provide us with an attendance report."

"All present and accounted for, sir."

"Excellent! Club Secretary Hobbes shall now review the minutes of the last meeting."

"Thank you," Hobbes said, picking up a notepad. "10:00 AM: Meeting called to order. 10:01 AM: Reading of previous minutes held. 10:03 AM: Dictator-for-Life objects to the reading of previous minutes. 10:04 AM: First Tiger Hobbes offers retort. 10:05 AM: Political debate is held. 11:00 AM: Break for lunch. 11:20 AM: Political debate resumes. 12:14 PM: Bandages administered. First Tiger Hobbes receives stitches from Dictator-for-Life's mother. 12:15 PM: Medals of Bravery awarded to all parties. Meeting adjourned."

"Thank you, Secretary Hobbes. You may be seated."

They saluted each other, and Hobbes sat down.

"Now then, we focus on old business," Calvin continued. "Club Councilor Hobbes, if you will?"

Hobbes reviewed his notepad. "We're still out of fun-sized chocolate-crunch bars."

"I see. What are we doing about this?"

"Pestering your mom to buy more."

"Results?"

"None."

"Very well. Moving on to new business!"

Hobbes flipped through the notepad. "There is none."

"Excellent! Moving on! Secretary Hobbes, record the minutes."

"Yes, sir," Hobbes replied, writing in his notepad.

Calvin stood up and pretended he was several feet taller, like a general standing before his troops.

"Gentlemen, we have tolerated the enemy for far too long, I say!" he said in his most commanding voice.

Hobbes scribbled furiously in his notepad. "_Dictator-for-Life begins dialogue. Everyone is on full alert as he speaks_."

"The enemy – known to us as Susie Derkins – has been making a mockery of this club's integrity!"

"_Various gasps echo throughout the compound. All soldiers straighten in anticipation._"

"Her very presence is a nuisance that must not be tolerated! I say it's time to take care of her and her feminineness once and for all!"

"_Shouts of agreement rage across the club! Officers and soldiers shout in unity! Bottles smash! Someone is singing the club anthem!_"

"I propose that we go on the offensive! We shall make a slushball and throw it at her and run away!"

"_All club members' are in full blood lust! More bottles smash! People are stomping on tables! A chair flies through the air and takes out one of the lights! Absolute hubbub bubbles across the room! Fists fly! Teeth fly! Everyone has gone insane!_"

"Have they?" Calvin asked, coming out of his speech. "What a great club!"

Hobbes put the notepad away. "Shall we get to work?"

"We shall. I'll be the Strike Force Commander."

"I'll be the Official Cartographer and plan our escape!"

"I'll prepare our fortress!"

"… When did we get a fortress?"

"We don't have one yet. We have to design it first. Once we have it secured, we'll have a readymade hideout so Susie can't avenge herself upon us."

"Because she totally will."

"Exactly. Move out, men!"

They lowered the rope ladder and climbed down into the snow, heading back into the house.

* * *

Calvin examined the diagram of the snow fortress, which was written in his own childish scrawl. He tapped the end of his black crayon thoughtfully as he tried to figure out what to add next.

"Let's see…," he murmured. "I think I'll add another line of turrets here, right next to the other five lines… Then we'll need a moat in case Susie attempts to scale the walls… Loads of cannons lining the outside… Oh! We'll need a drawbridge! One that only responds to our voices!"

"Is that how we get inside?" Hobbes asked.

"No, Susie will probably be expecting that. We'll need a super-secret entrance so we can ride the toboggan in without having to stop."

"How do we do that?"

"We'll have a door on the side of the west wall."

"How do we get across the moat if we're not using the drawbridge?"

"There's a ramp we'll be able to jump. The door will sense the toboggan arriving, and it will open automatically, allowing us to simply fly through!"

Hobbes stared at the elaborate drawings. "How are we going to build all of this in one afternoon?"

Calvin blinked, staring at the sheet of paper for a long moment. "Hmmm… I may have gotten carried away," he admitted.

"Tell you what," Hobbes said. "Why don't we just ride the toboggan downhill, hide it in the bushes and climb a tree and hide until Susie's gone?"

Calvin thought for a moment. "… Yeah, I suppose that'll be okay."

Hobbes nodded and proceeded to pick up the maps and diagrams. "What should we do with all these?"

"Stash them in the dresser. They may come in handy someday when I'm President of the World and I feel like redesigning the White House."

"Check."

* * *

Susie Derkins was a smart girl. She got straight A's in school, she always studied thoroughly before a test, she always did her homework, and she was under some sort of delusion that this would be helpful in the twenty-first century. She was always sure of herself and vindictive when insuring her grades never slipped, proving to be something of a tyrant when it came to group projects.

Despite her intelligence, she kept forgetting that you should never walk outside if you live in the same neighborhood as Calvin.

Susie had lived two doors down from Calvin's house for a long time now, and despite her best efforts, their two personalities were far too polar opposite to function. Susie was all about achievement and working and bettering herself, while Calvin was content to live in the present and enjoy life for the moment.

Plus, they were both six, so Calvin was still in the belief that all girls have cooties. He had formed the **GROSS** club for the sole sake of excluding her, and she was often the first target of attack when he had water balloons or snowballs.

Right now, the young brunette was walking through the woods behind her house. She was admiring the snow as it fell around her, taking in the visage of beauty that surrounded her. She was just contemplating making a snowman when it happened.

She registered the sound of something running along the snow, making a sort of scraping sound as it went. While subconsciously she knew it was a toboggan making that sound, she still felt the need to turn around and see it in order to confirm it.

When she turned to look, she saw her neighbor, her classmate and her arch-nemesis riding down in the hill, with his stuffed tiger riding on the back, wearing a cute scarf that flapped in the wind.

She only managed to see this image for a split second because instantly, two snowballs splattered all over her face.

"Happy New Year, Susie!" Calvin cheered mockingly.

Susie barely had enough time to look before she saw the back end of the toboggan racing down the hill and into the thick gathering of trees.

"CALVIN, YOU POOPHEAD!" she shouted furiously. She tried to get to her feet, but she slipped in the snow and fell face first on the ground. She pushed herself up, mentally trying to figure out how Calvin could've had two snowballs and steered at the same time.

She was so angry she didn't notice the shadow fall over her.

"Goodness me, are you all right, young lady?"

Susie gasped at the voice and turned to look.

There was a man standing over her, bent slightly in the middle, wearing a trench coat that was wrapped tightly around him, a scarf around his neck and a long nose.

"Oh! Er… Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Susie said shakily.

"Here, let me help you stand up," he said, holding out a hand to her.

"Thank you."

Susie took his hand stood up, wiping the snow off of jacket.

"Good gracious, who _was_ that horrible little boy?" the man asked.

"That was _Calvin_," she said angrily. "He's _always _throwing snowballs at me every winter since I moved here."

"He doesn't sound like a nice boy."

"No, he _isn't_. Nobody likes him. I try to be his friend, but who could possibly be friends with a stupid stinker like him?"

"I see… So no one would miss him…"

Susie looked up. "What?"

The man cleared his throat. "Did he have a stuffed tiger with him?"

"Yeah, that's Hobbes. Calvin acts like he's alive, though. He's always talking to him and fighting with him and he takes him everywhere he goes. Even to school! He doesn't like my toy rabbit, Mr. Bun, though. He says Mr. Bun is for babies. I don't know why he's willing to play with his dumb ol' tiger and not with Mr. Bun!"

The man looked contemplative. "I see…"

Susie looked up at the man. Something about the grin on his face made her feel a little uneasy. "Sir…?"

"Well, do excuse me, young lady. I'll just leave you alone now. Enjoy your day!"

And with that, the man spun around and walked casually in the opposite direction, back towards the sidewalk.

Susie watched him leave, feeling very confused by the whole ordeal.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were up in a tree now, waiting for Susie to come looking for them. They were up in one of the branches, alternating between keeping a look out and having idle conversations.

"But if the afterlife is supposed to be this happy place where nothing bad ever happens, how are you supposed to enjoy yourself?" Calvin was asking. "If there's no conflict in heaven, wouldn't it get boring awfully fast? There'd be no arguments to win, no challenges to overcome and no conflict to triumph over!"

Hobbes scratched his chin. "Maybe once you're in heaven, you don't care anymore," he suggested. "Maybe all your hang ups and insecurities are suspended upon arrival, and you don't feel so disturbed by the lack of conflict."

"Really? That sounds boring."

"But if they take away your ability to notice, you wouldn't notice that it's boring."

Calvin scratched his head in deep thought before looking around from their high vantage point.

"I don't see Susie anywhere," he announced. "How long have we been up here?"

Hobbes checked his watch. "Nearly an hour," he replied.

"Do you suppose she's still looking for us?"

"Probably not, especially if she's as cold and hungry as I am."

"Then it must be safe to get out of here. Come on. Let's go home."

They clambered down from the tree, and then they pulled the toboggan out of the nearby shrubbery. They mounted it and set off for home.

* * *

Of course, once they got home, they found Calvin's mother in a rather irate mood. She was standing in the kitchen with her arms folded and a stern expression on her face.

"Susie's mother called," she said in a tight sort of voice.

"She's a filthy liar," Calvin replied swiftly.

"She says you threw snowballs at Susie a few hours ago."

"Susie shouldn't be bothering people with stuff like that. We're all busy people."

"Calvin, why do you feel the need to throw things at people? What does it accomplish? They don't deserve to be treated like that!"

Calvin simply shrugged. "I don't know. It just strikes me that if you see an easy target, it needs to be striked." He paused for a second. "Struck. Stricken. Stroke… What's the word?"

"Calvin, that's a horrible way to look at the world."

"That's too bad," Calvin replied. "It's my way of looking at things, and that's all there is to it. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm looking out for number one! When opportunity knocks, I open the door and throw a snowball at it! Then I shut the door and lock it before it has a chance to get its wind back! If other people don't like it, then that's too bad!"

"Well then, you're grounded."

"What?! That's not fair!"

"It's a dog-eat-dog world."

"But it's my vacation! I can't spend it locked in the house for the remaining two days I have left!"

"You should've thought about that before you decided it was okay to be cruel to an innocent little girl."

"Innocent?! She's a smarmy, stuck-up, elitist – "

"Calvin, go to your room. Now."

Calvin growled, picked up Hobbes and stalked up to his room. "Just watch. One day, Susie's going to be a business woman on a golf course plotting with her little government buddies how they can shape this country to their needs while people like _you_ suffer in the middle class slums, working like chumps to line _their _pockets while _you_ fall apart and are reduced to having to dig around in trash cans for food, while _they _call you freeloaders for living off the government! Just you wait! That'll be Susie one day!"

And he continued to shout and rave all the way up the stairs and to his room.

Mom rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I need to stop leaving the news networks on…"

* * *

Dad came home a few hours later. He took off his hat and coat and put them in the closet, exhausted after a long day at work and a stressful drive home. He was looking forward to sitting down in his chair, ready to relax and read his paper, and he was just about to go and do that, when he caught sight of his wife looking irritated.

"Ohhh, what did he do now?" Dad groaned.

"He threw a snowball at Susie Derkins," she replied.

"Again?"

"Again."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, I already grounded him."

"Oh. Well, I'll talk to him anyway. He could stand a long discussion about the virtues of wholesome living."

"Dear, he's still twitching from the last one."

"It was a productive conversation."

"You just spouted every single cliché you could think of while trying to look authoritative. Besides, I don't think a lecture is necessary."

"He threw a snowball at a little girl."

"It's winter! Of course he did! Kids throw snowballs at each other!"

Dad blinked. "Dear, if you don't think it's that big of a deal, why did you ground him?"

Mom's expression looked rather concerned. In fact, she looked afraid. The more Dad thought about it, the more he realized he's seen that expression before – years ago when their house was broken into while they'd been away. He remembered how she'd looked at the broken glass on the floor from the window that had been smashed in.

"Dear, what's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Mom checked the stairway to make sure Calvin wasn't eavesdropping, but she couldn't see him.

"Susie said that after she was hit by the snowball, a man helped her up and started asking her questions about Calvin before walking away. I think Calvin is being stalked."

* * *

**Author's Note: **_One of the challenges of rewriting this story was writing Calvin as he was in his comic strip persona. I reread the final year of strips to recapture Calvin's personality, and the awkward truth was that - in the comic strip - he's a complete jerk. He has moments of kindness, but he's a greedy, selfish, disrespectful jerk who loves being cruel to people. After eight years of writing him as a semi-decent human being, it was very difficult to go back to writing him as he was. So, to make it easier on myself, I decided this story would be the turning point in Calvin's life - how he goes from being a egocentric twit to one of the Earth's protectors. It's not going to be pretty, so enjoy the lighter moments while you can..._

_See you next week!_


	4. The Babysitter Arrives

**Author's Note:** _I'm going to be busy tomorrow as well, so this is going up tonight. Happy New Year, everyone!_

* * *

Calvin spent the entire day in the house, trapped in his room, glaring at the outside world as it went along without him.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be six for the rest of my life," he grumbled bitterly.

Hobbes was curled up on the floor, his tail twitching absently as he tried to sleep.

Then, his eyes sprang opened, and he noticed his tail twitching. His whiskers twitched as he stared at it. It was twitched again, back and forth, as if it were mocking him. Logically, Hobbes knew that a tail couldn't mock him, especially not his own. He and his tail were supposed to be on the same side, allies in day-to-day affairs. However, he would later rationalize that he had been driven slightly demented by being locked in a bedroom with only Calvin for company all day.

The tail twitched again. He got into a prowling position so that he could focus on it better. It continued to twitch in his face, jerking back and forth. He grinned evilly at it before his claws instinctively extended.

Calvin heard the movement from his bed and turned to look just in time to see Hobbes suddenly running around in small circles, trying to catch his own tail. He went 'round faster and faster, growling and snarling at what was essentially his own butt. After several seconds of this, he finally slowed down and dizzily stumbled over his own paws, collapsing in an upside-down heap on the floor.

Calvin could only shake his head at the sight. "I'd mock you for that, but on the other hand, I'm relieved you're taking your frustrations out on yourself instead of me."

Hobbes attempted to stand up, but he just dizzily collapsed a second time, moaning to himself.

Calvin glared out of the window again. "Of all the injustices! Imagine! Me! Locked in my own room during my Christmas vacation! I'm going to be back in school in a few days, trapped by Miss Wormwood and twenty-two other kids. How the heck am I supposed to learn in a classroom where the only thing we're supposed to do is sit and listen as they fill our heads with facts and figures that any fool could easily look up in a book or punch up on a calculator?"

Hobbes was still feeling woozy, but he found the strength to quip, "Good thing we tigers are born knowing everything we need to know."

"Animals have it so much easier," Calvin continued to whine. "Look at spiders, for example. Who taught a spider how to spin a web? Nobody! They're just born knowing! Why can't humans come like that, knowing about all the necessary things about life? Why can't we be born knowing how to file taxes or who won World War II or how much seven plus three is?"

Hobbes managed to get up on all fours. "They should've consulted you when they designed the human brain," he remarked.

"You _bet_ they should've!"

* * *

"Are we still going out tonight?" Dad asked.

"We already hired Rosalyn the other night. She'll look after him," Mom replied.

"Even if you think someone is stalking Calvin?"

"We don't know for sure if he is. For all we know, it was nothing and he's perfectly safe. We're going to keep him in the house for the rest of his vacation, and if the same person starts showing up again, we'll call the police. For now, I think it might be safe for us to go out tonight with Rosalyn watching him."

"Well, if you're sure…"

"I'm sure he'll be fine."

"What about Rosalyn?"

"Debatable."

"All right, I'll start getting ready."

* * *

The dirty metropolitan city was shadowed in darkness, with only the bright neon lights that almost blended together in the night, with headlights of automobiles racing and in opposite directions through the crowded streets, honking at each other furiously.

Everyone was so busy focusing on what was going on directly in front of them that they failed to notice what was happening around them. To be more specific, they weren't focused on what was happening _above _them.

A darkened figure was racing across the rooftops above them. He was carrying a bag and racing across the buildings at a breakneck pace, leaping and jumping like a gymnast.

Not a short distance behind him and closing the gap between them was another figure, but he was dressed a bit ridiculously. He was wearing a dark red mask with a matching dark red cape that flapped in the wind as he ran.

"_The art museum has been robbed! An art dealer who has been betrayed by his employers plans to exact his revenge on them by stealing a prized painting, and he's a former gymnast to boot, enabling him to escape police with ease_."

The masked hero jumped and leaped, never losing sight of the villain. He jumped and leapt and dodged obstacles that lined the rooftops.

"_With no other choice, the Commissioner has lit the Stupendous Signal and sought the assistance of _Stupendous Man! _Champion of Justice and Defender of Liberty! Our masked hero makes stupendous leaps across the building, proving to be a match for the villain! He leaps and jumps and hurls himself after the petty thief_."

The thief raced and swerved and jumped all over the place, trying to escape and leave with his bundled prize.

Stupendous Man wasn't slowing down. He leapt and bounced and zoomed after him with all his might.

They raced across building after building until they finally skidded to a halt at the last one, with the thief teetering dangerously over the edge, finding that the gap before him was much too large. He managed to stop himself from falling, regaining his balance just in time. He let out a nervous breath before reasserting his cool and looking over his shoulder at his pursuer.

Stupendous Man stood a mere ten feet away, glaring at him through his surprisingly expressive mask.

"End of the line, pal," the superhero said. "Just hand over the painting, and I won't beat you within an inch of your life."

"You don't understand!" the thief yelled. "They did this to me! They took my job! They took everything! I have nothing to live for anymore! I have nothing to lose!"

"That doesn't make what you're doing right," Stupendous Man replied evenly. "You're not just robbing the museum of a painting. You're robbing the people. You can be helped. Just please listen to me."

The thief stared at him for a long moment before finally sighing heavily and passing the packaged painting over to him.

"That's better," Stupendous Man sighed. "Now let's just…"

He trailed off as the man suddenly outstretched his arms and closed his eyes, and he proceeded to tip over the edge.

"NO! STOP!" Stupendous Man shouted, dropping the painting and diving forwards.

The man had already left the building, and he was falling through the air.

"_With no other choice, our hero makes a STUPENDOUS leap! He swan dives after the man, reaching for him, hoping to connect with him before the pavement of the alley below does! He reaches! He's almost there! He's almost – !_"

There was a loud thud as Calvin suddenly landed on the floor, having fallen off the bed.

"CALVIN, STOP BANGING AROUND UP THERE!" his mother's voice shouted.

Calvin straightened his mask and laid out on his elbows, frowning to himself. "I need to stop watching the news," he muttered. "I'm starting to see things in shades of gray."

Hobbes crawled out from under the bed, having just been woken up from a nap from the noise. "Are you not grounded anymore?" he asked sleepily.

"No, I still am."

"Oh. Then don't wake me up until then." And with that, he crawled back under the bed.

Calvin glared at him and proceeded to take his mask and cape off. He was just putting them in his dresser when the door opened.

"Calvin, just so you know, your mother and I are going out tonight," Dad said, wearing a nice shirt and a tie.

"_You're_ going out?! You're going out when I'm still grounded?! That's not fair! If you get to go out, then I should get to go out!"

"We're not the ones who thought it was okay to throw a snowball at a little girl," Dad replied. "Rosalyn is coming to baby-sit. You'd better behave yourself."

"What?! Now you're just adding insult to injury!"

"We're leaving as soon as your mother is out of the shower. Best behavior."

On that note, he shut the door.

Calvin angrily kicked one of his toy blocks on the floor across the room. He flopped down on the bed, crossed his arms angrily and looked at the ceiling.

A moment later, Hobbes crawled out from under the bed and climbed up with him.

"What's the matter?" he asked, lying down next to him.

"Rosalyn's coming over to baby-sit while _Mom and Dad_ get to go out," Calvin grumbled.

"Oh great," Hobbes sighed. "It's too snowy outside to play Calvinball, so we can't do that."

"She cheated anyway."

"How is that even possible in a game where you make up the rules as you go?"

"I don't know, but something tells me she did."

* * *

The doorbell rang, and Mom answered the door as she fiddled with her earrings.

Rosalyn was all bundled up in a heavy jacket and scarf as she made her way inside.

"Rosalyn, thank you for coming," Mom said gratefully.

"No problem," Rosalyn said with a sigh, removing her scarf and taking off her coat. "The drive over the icy roads wasn't _too_ bad."

Mom winced. "Well, Calvin's grounded this week, so we just need you to make sure he stays in the house."

"Sure."

Dad came in, putting on his sport jacket. "Ah, Rosalyn's here! Good! Don't worry about Calvin. He'll be in his room all night tonight."

"Okay, good. Now then, let's talk prices."

"We're paying you your usual," Dad replied.

"Yes, but I know your wedding anniversary is coming up, and you'll need to secure a place in my calendar in advance," she replied. "That's an extra five dollars. Then, of course, there are about three movies coming out soon that you'll probably want to see…"

"Rosalyn, just how far out ahead have you got this planned?" Dad demanded.

"At least until Calvin turns nine. Whenever that is. Now then, you'll probably want to get going or they'll give your table away."

Calvin's parents looked at each other, both bewildered, but eventually they just sighed heavily, and Dad handed her a wad of bills.

"You'd better be going to a good college," he sighed.

"I could leave, you know," Rosalyn replied.

"Give her the money, dear. Let's get going," Mom said quickly, pulling the door open as she got her coat on.

Dad sighed in dismay as followed her out the door.

As soon as it was shut, Rosalyn marched straight upstairs. She found Calvin's room and knocked on the door. "Calvin? Are you in there?"

There was no reply.

Sighing to herself, Rosalyn opened the door. She was just in time to see the closet door shut. She walked over to it and tried to pull it open, finding it to be locked.

"Calvin, come out of there," she said tiredly.

"I'm not in here!" Calvin shouted in reply.

Rosalyn sighed again. "Look, I'm not in the mood for this. You just stay up here and don't come out of your room all night. I'll make frozen dinners later. Then you're going to bed. Got that?"

There was no reply again.

Deciding that was all, Rosalyn turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

The closet door creaked open a second later, and Calvin peeked outside. Once assured the coast was clear, and climbed out, with Hobbes right behind him.

"Great," Hobbes sighed. "What do we do now?"

Calvin shrugged. "I guess we just sit here and wait for supper?"

"Really? Just like that?"

"Might as well. I'm already in hot water. If I step out of line just once, Rosalyn will decapitate me and stick my head on a stick in the front lawn."

"So what do we do?"

Calvin glanced around the room. For once, he was rather stuck on activities they could be doing right now. There was no TV, no snacks to steal, no water balloons to throw, and they'd already had a **GROSS** meeting recently, so there wasn't much point to that.

Finally, he settled for sitting on the bed.

Hobbes looked at him for a long moment. "Is that it? We're just going to sit on the bed?"

"I am. You can do whatever you want."

Hobbes thought for a moment, and then he shrugged and joined his friend on the bed.

They sat in silence for a long time.

* * *

The car drove slowly over the slush that filled the streets.

Calvin's parents had been silent for most of the trip, both lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, Mom spoke. "Do you actually _like_ Rosalyn?" she asked.

"Not really," Dad replied. "She knows how to play us like a piano. We fall for it each time."

"She's the only one who will watch him."

"I know. I wish my brother lived nearby. Calvin seemed to get along with him pretty well. He could've stayed with him."

"… Do you ever wonder if we're too hard on him?"

"Not at all. In fact, sometimes I think we're not hard _enough_ on him."

"Oh, come on."

"Dear, he never does what anyone tells him, he doesn't want to work for anything, he's rude and obnoxious, he's always goofing off…"

"He's six, dear. He'll understand one day."

"He's terrible at sports, too. He quit playing baseball at school after only one game."

"He said the other kids yelled at him when he made a mistake."

"That's no reason to quit."

"Dear, face it. He doesn't like school. He doesn't like sports. He doesn't even like _people_. He hates other people. Why do you think he walks around with a stuffed tiger all day? I've heard him say smarter things to an inanimate object than he does with kids his own age. We can't exactly force him to make friends. We should probably let it happen naturally."

"I wonder if there's a medication we could prescribe that could take care of that…"

"Dear!"

"Just a thought."

* * *

An hour had passed.

Calvin and Hobbes were still on the bed, only now they were lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling, watching as a couple of flies went zooming around the room. They had run out of conversation after only seven minutes, and they still had another three hours before dinner time began.

"This is pathetic," Calvin moaned. "We're stuck in my room watching a bunch of insects buzz around pointlessly during my vacation time. It's sad when my life is less interesting than that of a hoard of household pests."

"Well, considering that you're six years old, we can't drive, we have no money and we have an 8:30 PM bedtime I'd say we're living pretty large, given the restrictions on our lives," Hobbes replied.

Calvin rolled over onto his stomach. "I need more than this. I need action! I need excitement! I need… Whoa…"

"What?"

"Look out the window."

Hobbes rolled over and followed Calvin's gaze outside. His eyes widened in amazement.

Just over the hill, they could see a sort of bright light emanating from behind it.

"What the heck is that?" Calvin asked, mesmerized by the sight.

"I don't know, but it's making my tail go all bushy," Hobbes replied, holding up his tail to illustrate his point. "It must be trouble."

Calvin scratched his chin. "How much trouble do you think we'd get into if we went to investigate it?"

"Oh, a lot. Tons. Huge amounts. They'd never find our remains after Rosalyn got through with us."

"That's what I thought. Come on."

Calvin jumped down from the bed and hurried to his closet, pulling out his winter clothes.

"I'm going to get dressed real quick. You get to work tying the bed sheets together. I think I know where Dad hid the toboggan."

"Right," Hobbes replied, and he proceeded to undo the bed sheets.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **_Yeah, okay, Calvin's dad is a bit of a jerk. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if it turned out that Calvin's parents had discussions like this at some point. Calvin puts a real strain on their marriage, and as Watterson said, his parents are very ambivalent about the effect he has on their lives. If he wasn't there kid, they wouldn't want anything to do with him. Paternal instinct is a fascinating disease..._


	5. Over the Hills

The two friends soon had their winter best on, and they skillfully climbed down the bed sheets that were tightly tied together. They had learned how to use these things over the many years they'd been escaping from their room.

They touched down in the snow, and Calvin promptly ran to his father's tool shed, ripping the door open and finding the toboggan hidden under a bunch of paint cans. After simply knocking the cans down and letting them roll away, he grabbed their mode of transport.

Calvin quickly mounted a flashlight on the front so that they could see where they were going, and they made their way to woods, riding the toboggan down the slope that took them inside of it.

"What are we going to do when we get there?" Hobbes asked as they slid along.

"Hopefully, we'll stop the alien invasion!"

"Alien invasion?"

"Well, what else could it be?"

"Maybe there's a movie premier?"

The toboggan slid along into the woods.

They zoomed around the trees and shrubbery, trying to remember all the different routes there were to take.

"Ha! Faster! Faster!" Calvin cheered. "Whatever it is, we'll get there in no time!"

They swerved and raced along around the trees, thrilled by the speed they were reaching.

And then, suddenly, they felt gravity tugging them backwards, and they began to slow down as they start to go uphill, and they came to a standstill halfway up another hill.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Well!" Hobbes said at last. "That killed the momentum."

Calvin sighed. He plucked the flashlight off the front and took it in his hand. "Come on. We'll have to hoof it."

Hobbes was beginning to feel the cold now. Already, he was beginning to have his doubts about this plan.

They trudged their way up the hill. It wasn't snowing, but without the sun, they were bitter cold. The excitement of their adventure had already worn off, and they were beginning to have second thoughts.

However, after three long minutes, they made it to the top of the hill, and they looked down the other side.

There were more hills ahead, and the glow didn't seem any closer.

Sighing to themselves, they looked over their shoulders.

They could see the lights from the house entirely out of eyesight yet. There was still time to turn back.

They looked at each other. No way was that happening.

They sat down on the toboggan and rode their way down towards the bottom of the next hill.

* * *

Rosalyn was enjoying her night so far. Calvin hadn't made a peep all night, and for some reason, that seemed to tell her that she had finally intimidated him into behaving. She had gotten sucked into one of her favorite teen soap dramas and was very much enraptured by what was going on in the story. She only wished Calvin's parents would spring for a nicer TV.

However, she absently realized that it was 7:00. It was probably time to get supper going. Calvin had been in his room for an entire three hours without making any noise. He was probably hungry.

Reluctantly, she stood up and walked over to the kitchen. She pulled open the freezer and pulled out a few frozen dinners. She read the instruction, seeing that they took seven minutes to prepare. She ripped them open and stuck them side by side in the microwave.

As she was letting that happen, she went over to the pantry and dug around. She didn't find much. In fact, she found a can of dried prunes.

"This is one weird family," she muttered.

She continued about her business, looking for some sort of beverage she could serve. She found a carton of skim milk in the fridge that made her turn her nose up, and there was no juice to be found. Mentally hoping that this simply meant Calvin's parents hadn't been to the store recently, she settled for water.

Finally, the microwave started beeping, alerting her that the frozen dinners weren't frozen anymore, and she opened it up and grabbed them, setting them down on two plates.

She proceeded to carry one of them upstairs to Calvin's room. She knocked on the door and waited a moment, and when there was no response, she spoke.

"Calvin, I've got dinner for you. Come on out."

The door didn't open.

Grumbling under her breath, she opened the door herself, and the first thing she noticed upon entering was how incredibly cold it was.

She stared at the window, which was wide open and had a long bed sheet rope going out of it.

"Aw, jeez," she muttered.

She set the plate down on the dresser and looked out the window into the cold darkness of the backyard.

"CALVIN, WHEREVER YOU ARE – _YOU COME BACK HERE_!" she shouted.

The only thing that came back was her echo.

Finally registering how cold it was, she pulled the rope back up and slammed the window shut.

She stormed downstairs and grabbed her jacket and scarf and a flashlight. Cursing creatively, she ripped the door open and ran around the house, searching. She waved the flashlight around furiously, trying to see where the little bratling was hiding.

"Calvin, get out here right now! Your parents are going to be furious when I tell them what you did!"

There was still no reply.

"Calvin, you're going to freeze to death! Get out here right now!"

She was so blinded by fury and agitation that she didn't notice the trail of footprints in the snow that led off into the woods.

* * *

"Okay!" Hobbes snapped irritably. "We've been up and over ten hills so far! And they all seem to be getting progressively higher! How much longer before we give up and go home?"

"Oh, shut up!" Calvin snapped. "We've only been walking for an hour! We can't have that much further to go!"

"How do you know that? I can't even _see_ the light anymore! The trees are so tall and thick I can't even see the _sky_!"

"Well, don't panic. I'm sure it's still up there."

Hobbes grumbled under his breath as they trudged onwards.

Calvin aimed the flashlight up the hill. He could see the top.

"Come on! We're almost there!" he cried, feeling his enthusiasm match the intensity of the numbness in his toes.

Picking up speed, they trudged their way to the very top of the hill, staggering out of the trees and into a clearing. They were relieved to see the sky, but they stared when they realized the light was still shining and blocking out the light of the stars.

When they looked down, they were stunned to see the chasm from two days earlier, and just beyond it, they could see the cliff they had flown off of. They stared at what lay ahead.

It was the tunnel that led to the door they had found.

The closer they looked they saw that the light seemed to be coming from on top of the hill that the tunnel was under.

A few seconds of staring later, they managed to get their brains going again.

"What are the odds that guy survived the fall?" Calvin asked.

"Not good," Hobbes replied quietly. "Although the odds of him being able to grab onto the cliff before his car fell in the chasm and therefore climbing to safety are pretty good."

"Uh-huh…"

After a pause, Calvin reattached the flashlight to the front of the toboggan.

"What? We're going in?" Hobbes asked incredulously.

"You bet. Let's get going."

Sighing with despair, Hobbes got on the back, and they pushed off down the hill.

They managed to make it across the chasm and over to the cliff face, where they reached the tunnel in short order.

Calvin shined the flashlight down it, trying to see if anyone was there, waiting to attack them. He couldn't see anyone, so he assumed it was safe.

Hobbes stashed the toboggan close to the entrance and followed him inside.

They made that long trek down the tunnel and towards the shiny metal door at the other end.

Hobbes finally broke the uneasy silence. "How are we supposed to get in?" he whispered.

Calvin tried to pretend the sudden sound of his friend's voice hadn't just freaked him out. "We'll figure this out."

"How? We haven't got a single clue as to what the combination is to open the door. We have no way of knowing…"

He trailed off when he saw the door.

Much to their surprise, it looked different this time.

Instead of being a huge thick metal door with a keypad on the wall next to it, it now looked like a huge thick metal door with an ordinary doorknob on it, with a welcome mat on the ground.

They stared at it for a long throbbing moment, trying to work this out.

"Okay, either we're suffering a massive hallucination, or that guy is good with his hands," Hobbes said at last.

"If it's the latter, maybe we can hire him to install deadbolt locks on our bedroom door," Calvin suggested, examining the doorknob closely.

"Is it still locked?"

Calvin grasped the doorknob and tried turning it. "Yes, it is."

"Do you see any way to open it?"

"There's a keyhole on here."

"Try looking through it."

Calvin stared at him in confusion for a moment before shrugging and peeking through the keyhole with one eye.

"Do you see anything?"

"No. That's weird. Usually, that works in the cartoons."

"So now what?"

Calvin looked the door up and down, trying to figure out what to do.

Finally, his eyes fell on the welcome mat. Deciding it was worth a try, he flipped it over, and he was surprised when he found a large gold key sitting under it. He picked it up and held it for Hobbes to see in the light from the flashlight.

"You've got to be kidding me," Hobbes said flatly.

Calvin just smirked. "You know, I'm beginning to think this guy isn't so bright after all. I mean, _come on_! His big security system is a key under a welcome mat? Ha! What a rube! I don't think he'll be any trouble!"

He smugly inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it.

Suddenly, the key was yanked out of his hand and through the keyhole, and a second later, there was a click, a whirring noise, and the door suddenly slid sideways, revealing what was beyond it.

"There is another way to look at this," Hobbes said.

"What's that?"

"He knew we were coming and decided to make it easy for us."

Calvin stared at him for a long moment before wrapping his arms around himself, presumably from the cold outside, and not from the cold feeling he had just felt in his chest as what his feline friend said weighed in on him.

Gulping down his fear as much as he could, he looked into the place they had just found.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"… Oh, why not," Hobbes replied wearily.

The two friends went cautiously inside.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Okay, this chapter was a bit shorter than most. The next one will be more interesting. I swear._

_Of course, it's all subjective, but still..._


	6. Meeting with the Mastermind

Calvin and Hobbes found themselves being greeted by one of the most amazing rooms they had ever seen.

The place was lined with large futuristic computers, all of which were humming and whirring loudly in unison. They towered high above them, with flashing lights and screens and other strange noises.

"Well, this is different," Hobbes murmured.

"This looks like some kind of mad scientist's lab or something," Calvin said excitedly. "This is so _cool!"_

"Do you see anyone around?'

Calvin looked around the room. "Nope. Looks pretty deserted."

"Except we know it isn't deserted. There has to be _someone_ around here."

"Then we'll just keep looking."

Feeling that after all that walking through the snow to get here gave them no other option, Hobbes nodded and followed his friend further into the darkened building.

It wasn't dark for long. They soon found themselves in another section of the strange underground lab. This one was lit by a few fluorescent lights that hung from the ceiling.

Now they could see what was around them. There were more computers, all of which were of stranger design than the last ones. They were of varying shapes and sizes, all lining the walls, save for a select few that were in the center of the room.

Another thing that stood out about this place were the gantries that lined the upper-most parts of the walls, with long stairways that climbed onto even higher gantries that curved and crisscrossed all over the place.

"It's like some sort of twisted Escher painting," Calvin said quietly.

"This is getting creepy," Hobbes whispered. "Do you see anyone yet?"

Calvin's head jerked left and right, and then up and down. "No one. How can this place be uninhabited? You'd think with as many computers like this there'd be _someone_ working here."

"Maybe they have Christmas vacation, too."

"You think so? Because my dad's a patent lawyer, and _he _doesn't get a Christmas vacation."

"We're in an underground laboratory. Maybe that's just how they do things. It could be a government position."

"Then who was the guy who chased us?"

"The janitor? I don't know. Maybe he's non-union."

"As if this wasn't confusing enough," Calvin sighed. "He can't be a non-union janitor! This place is _way_ too clean!"

"Then maybe he's the security guard."

"Okay, I can buy that. But why wasn't he near the front?"

"Maybe he hangs out in the garage all the time smoking cigarettes and reading dirty magazines until someone uses the keypad."

"Okay… Then the next order of business is obvious."

"And that is?"

"We find the garage and see if another one of those cool cars is there. _Man_, how cool would it be if we could drive one of _those_ beauties?"

"You don't have a license."

"Dad does! Imagine him driving into work with a giant set of a metal jaws!"

"Your dad strikes me as more a beige sedan type of guy with a crummy radio."

"That's kind of what the car is now."

"Except that it's dark red."

At that moment, they heard a noise come from above them. They both looked up, straining to get their eyesight working as they looked up past the lights and up at the gantry way directly over them.

They saw a silhouetted figure had dropped something and was currently picking it up.

"Shhh!" Calvin hissed. "Up the ladder! Quickly!"

They quickly ran over to the fire-escape-style ladder as quietly as they could. They climbed up to the first level and made their way towards the next ladder, trying their best not to make too much noise.

They were just climbing up a set of stairs when they saw the figure was walking away from them, down another gantry that stretched across the entire room to the opposite wall.

"Who is it? Can you tell?" Calvin whispered.

Hobbes squinted, trying to use his feline eyesight to get a good look. "I'm not sure. He doesn't look tall enough to be the guy from before. He's wearing a lab coat, though."

"So we've stumbled upon an organization. Interesting. Let's move."

They kept going up the stairs and up to the appropriate level. They were just in time to see the figure make it to the other side and keep walking to the left towards a door that was on the far side of the room. They stayed where they were, waiting for him to go through it, and when he did about ten seconds later, they scampered across the gantry and over towards the door.

Once they got to it, they tried to open it, but they found it was locked.

"How do we get in?" Calvin whispered.

"It looks like an ordinary lock. Allow me," Hobbes said.

"Oh, yeah? What are _you_ going to do?"

Hobbes produced a single claw and stuck it in the keyhole. He twisted his finger around until they both heard a satisfying click. He pulled his claw back out and retracted before grasping the doorknob and turning it. The door silently opened.

Calvin glared at him. "Okay, how'd you do that?"

"Sorry," Hobbes replied. "Privileged information."

Giving his friend another glare, Calvin gently opened the door a little further, and they both peeked inside.

Their mouths fell open.

"Whoa…," they both murmured.

This room was even bigger than the last one, and twice as bright. There were probably several miles of gantries that crisscrossed and twisted above and below each other. Not only that, but there were more computers in here, and each one was even more bizarre than the next.

"Look," Hobbes whispered, pointing at another gantry above them. "There's the guy!"

Calvin followed his finger and saw the figure in the lab coat they had followed. He had already ascended three levels, but he was walking in their line of vision, and they could see his face now.

It was a horrible face. It wasn't even human. It was pink, hairy and had a long trunk-like nose that twitched all like a tail. This creature was wearing a lab coat, sensible slacks, and shoes and was carrying a clipboard under his twelve-fingered hand.

"It's some kind of mutant," Calvin said in complete awe.

"Where the heck have we arrived?" Hobbes wondered.

"I'm not sure, but I want to see more. Come on. Quietly."

They tiptoed along the main gantry, looking around. The place was so large that they felt like rats in some crazy experiment, running around in some sort of maze. They walked around, taking in all the sights in a manner not unlike tourists in Time Square.

As they walked continued along what appeared to be the "main road", Hobbes' feline instincts felt as though they were being watched. He turned to look at where the feeling was coming from, and he saw something that made heart drop into his stomach.

"I think we're being monitored in a literal sense this time," he whispered.

Calvin stopped and looked behind them.

It was a security camera.

They tried to back away from it, but it moved as they did, its lens reflecting the growing dread on their faces.

"Okay, this is just getting creepier and creepier," Calvin murmured. "Let's get away from here."

"Like where?"

"I don't care at this point."

They turned and ran.

The camera stayed on them.

Almost instantly, an alarm rang out around the room.

"Keep running!" Calvin yelled, forgoing all pretenses that they were going unnoticed.

They ran rapidly down the gantry, but they realized that there were others in this room. Including their pink friend from earlier, they were being zeroed in on from all directions by various mutants wearing lab coats and sensible pants.

They looked around for any possible escape, but then, Hobbes noticed a walkway that went above them diagonally. Thinking fast, he grabbed Calvin by the waist and hoisted him up onto it. Wordlessly, Calvin climbed over the railings to safety.

And then, waiting for just the right moment, Hobbes took three great bounds forward and pounced his way onto the gantry, accidentally kicking two of the mutants in the face and knocking them down. He scrambled up onto the walkway with Calvin as the remaining mutants crashed into each other.

Once assured they were both safe for the moment, they ran in a direction where no one was running after them and headed for the next set of stairs. They thudded up them as fast as they could, listening to the metal grating clanging beneath their feet.

More mutants of various designs and similar lab coats kept coming around the corners, so they were constantly changing directions and looking for new places to go.

At one point, they were cornered again, and they saw another walkway beneath them. Hobbes put Calvin on his back and jumped over the railing, landing deftly on his feet. They continued on in that fashion, trying to find the exit. Calvin had his arms wrapped around his friend's neck, and Hobbes was trying to remember which way they'd come from so he could backtrack to the door.

During all this, the alarm kept ringing and lights were flashing. More and more of the mutants were coming into the room, and the two friends were having more and more trouble finding escapes.

Inevitably, they were soundly trapped after managing three minutes of running and jumping. They were cornered from both directions by two herds of mutants in lab coats. They were all panting, out of breath from all the exercise.

"Jeez," Calvin breathed, climbing down off of Hobbes' back. "What do we do now?"

"Say our prayers and go 'night-night'?" Hobbes suggested meekly, backing away from the mutant that was advancing on them.

Just when they thought they were going to be ripped apart, they froze when the mutant reached into his lab coat and pulled out a rather large dangerous-looking gun.

"Night-night," Calvin whimpered involuntarily.

They both hugged and hoped it would be over soon.

The mutant pulled the trigger, and they felt a strange tingling sensation race over them that felt a bit warm yet ticklish. It seemed to last about ten seconds, but to Calvin and Hobbes, it felt like an eternity.

Finally, it was all over, and they both felt a little dizzy.

Through their blurred vision, they found that they were still alive, not to mention in a different room.

This room was smaller than the last one, and there were no gantries at all. It seemed to be some sort of experimenting room, as there were more machines here than computers, although a few ordinary ones lined the walls.

The most prominent thing in the room, however, was the tall thin fellow on the opposite side. He had glasses, a lab coat that was buttoned up very tightly and a hairstyle that was similar to that of Larry Fine from _The Three Stooges_.

It still didn't change the fact that he was very intimidating.

Hobbes tried to focus on him, but he was so woozy from whatever had just happened to them that he promptly tipped over and passed out on the floor.

Calvin, however, had had better luck with reorienting himself and managed to refocus his vision. He looked and saw his friend lying unconscious next to him. "Hobbes…?" he slurred, trying to finish rebooting his brain. "Hobbes, speak to me… Hobbes?"

"Stand up, boy!" the man shouted suddenly. "He's not going to answer you!"

Calvin rubbed his eyes. "Why? What've you done to him?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Forget your little stuffed tiger, Calvin. I have bigger plans in store for you."

That snapped Calvin out of it. "Wait, what? What are you talking about? How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I've been doing a bit of research on you, my boy. You're quite the little troublemaker around here, aren't you? An anarchist from day one – quite an impressive record, you have."

"Wait, what record?"

The man went over to a portfolio on his desk and opened it. "Only in the first grade. A mere six-year-old, and yet look at how much calamity you've caused. Escaping from school on no less than twenty occasions, throwing snowballs, water balloons, picking on the girls, willful destruction of property, public nudity – and that's just the stuff you've done at school! Don't get me started on this thing the principal only refers to as the 'Noodle Incident'…"

"I was framed!" Calvin snapped automatically.

"Sure you were," the man said with a smirk, tossing the portfolio away. "But that's not important now. What's important is that you're here now, right where I want you."

Calvin massaged his temples. For once, he was truly out of his depth. "I'm sorry, back up. Let's start over. _Who are you_?"

The man straightened up. "I am Dr. Retro Griffin," he replied. "I'm a scientist and something of an inventor."

"Wait, wait, 'Retro'? Your name is 'Retro'? That's not a name. That's an adjective. Where'd you get your doctorate? Night school?"

"Technically, I am a psychiatrist. It is my job to study the mind."

"Okay…"

"It is through my studies in this field that I have been planning my quest to conquer the world."

"… Okay, now you've lost me again. Did I suddenly step into a comic book? Am I the cute little kid Captain Napalm has to swoop in and save from the evil mad scientist?"

Retro chuckled. "Sadly, no, this is not one of your childish little daydreams that you can just wake up from. This is _very_ real. But not to worry. Soon your childish little daydreams will be real, too."

"What?"

"For years now, I have been trying to tap into the human mind and latch onto subconscious thoughts and make them real. I have a machine that can replicate anything in anyone's mind."

Calvin stared. "… Why would you feel the need to invent something like that? In fact, _how _can you invent something like that?"

"Are you asking me for my life story?"

"Oh. Er, I wasn't, but if that's what it'll take to get an answer…"

"I was always regarded as a freak."

"… And here we go."

"… I have always hated humans. Even the ones that didn't beat me up and steal my lunch money and run me up the flagpole, I despised them as well. However, with basic instructions and a good solid leader to dole them out, I figured they could maybe master simple tasks. So, after graduating from Harvard, top in my class, I set out to take over the world."

"But someone must've helped you," Calvin pointed out. "That's the only way you could've done any of this. You couldn't have built all of this by yourself."

"No, no, that was me, too. I'm clever. Deal with it."

"How about I don't?"

"… Well, during college, I took part in many experiments. At first, it was because I needed the money, but the more it went on, the more I learned, and eventually, I stumbled upon an experiment that could increase my IQ exponentially! My genius soared! Truths became revealed to me! Facts solidified themselves in my gray matter! And now I am more brilliant than _anyone_!"

"How would _you_ know? You hate people. You probably haven't gotten to know anyone else in years."

Retro glared at him. "Says the boy who hangs out with a tiger all the time," he snapped.

Calvin patted Hobbes' head. "Hobbes isn't human. Perhaps when he wakes up, you'll understand why he's better company."

Retro rolled his eyes. "Anyway – now I have what I want! I have a machine that can get into the subconscious of any living person and replicate what they're thinking telepathically, solidifying it in reality!"

"Does it even work?"

"Look at the room you're standing in, boy! Of course it works! All of this was born through my machine!"

Calvin looked around. "Wow! You mean you _dreamt_ this whole place up? Even the mutants?"

Retro winced. "Not quite. I find that my faultless analytical mind is perfect for creating machinery and computers, but I _cannot _grasp humans. Hence the mutants. They were the best I could do. No matter what I did, I could not replicate living creatures. Nor can I alter nature. The subtleties are lost on me. My own mind is warped from years of bitterness and frustration."

"… So, what are you going to do?"

Retro's somber expression turned into a twisted grin. "Well…," he said slowly, "I was hypothesizing that perhaps an adult mind is too limited. It's hardened with facts and cynicism. But a child's mind is malleable. It's flexible because you're still learning about the world around you, and you have yet to be exposed to what evils exist within it."

Calvin was beginning to realize where this was headed, and he started backing away. "What are you saying…?"

"I'm saying, my dear boy," Retro said in a low throaty voice, "that perhaps _your imagination_ would be ideal for my purposes…"


	7. The Imaginator

**Author's Note:** _Remember when I said that this would be the story that dealt with Calvin's change in character? Remember how I said it wouldn't be pretty? Well, here it is. This is that part of the story. Hang on tight._

* * *

Calvin liked to think he was an open-minded kid. He had always believed that aliens were real, weirdness was an important factor in day-to-day operations, and that animals should have a right to vote. However, there were some things in the world that he just couldn't accept. His mother's cooking, for example. The fact that girls had to share a planet with him was another. The fact that he would only do well in the world if he got the right sort of education was a big one.

At the moment, he was finding it very difficult to accept that some mad scientist with weird hair and an even weirder name was going to take over the world using his imagination. He had no real interest in being a guinea pig for him or anyone else.

"You're not using me for anything!" he declared firmly. "My imagination is mine and mine alone! You're not getting your filthy little hands on it! Come on, Hobbes! Wake up! We're out of here!"

He tried to shake Hobbes awake, but his friend was still unconscious from being teleported molecule by molecule for some reason. Calvin figured that humans must have some sort of immunity to that sort of thing. He tried harder to wake the tiger up, but he wasn't moving.

Retro, meanwhile, had already made his mind up. "I'm afraid you have no choice," he replied, snapping fingers.

Suddenly, two mutants in lab coats came out of hiding, stepping out from the shadows in the corners of the room, and they both grabbed the distracted Calvin by the arms.

The little boy kicked and screamed. "STOP IT! LET ME GO! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY DAD'S AN ATTORNEY! WE'LL SUE!"

Retro quickly motioned to the other side of the room.

The mutants effortlessly carried the squirming boy over to a metal chair that was bolted to the wall. They shoved him into it, and despite his best efforts, Calvin found himself being held down when two brackets curled over his wrists and around his ankles, effectively securing him. He tried to move, but there was no wiggle room.

"If you think for one second I'm going to just _give _you my imagination, then you're dumb as _well_ as ugly!"

Retro snarled at him, feeling his patience beginning to run out. The boy was rowdier than he was capable of standing.

"Just relax, my boy," he replied, trying to keep from shouting back at him. "You're about to be blown away by my genius. Feast your eyes on… _the Imaginator!_"

There was a metallic clunk that came from right over his head, and Calvin looked up and saw that a hole had opened up in the ceiling. A moment later, something was being lowered down to the floor in the center of the room. It was rectangular in shape, and it seemed to have something hanging off of it.

Calvin stared at the device as it was finally settled on the floor.

"Well?" Retro asked smugly. "What do you think?"

"… The Imaginator? Really? Couldn't you have used it to think of a more interesting name?"

"Oh, shut up! Look at it! This is the device I used to create my lab! I used it to create the mutants! I could create anything I _wanted_ with this!"

"Is that what the bright light was? This thing was making that bright light over the hill? Man, how stupid was _that_? It totally gave your position away!"

"Precisely."

Calvin's smug grin evaporated. "What?"

"I was originally going to nab you the next time you came out to play, but when you didn't leave the house, I knew I would have to attract your attention," Retro replied. "So I created the bright light to lure you here." He chuckled condescendingly. "I knew a little troublemaker like you couldn't resist. You could've ignored it and gone to bed like a _good boy_, but _no,_ you _had _to see what it was. You made your choice, Calvin. You could've avoided all this."

Calvin's mind was racing, trying to think of a witty retort that would absolve him, but each reply he thought of just seemed empty and hollow. Normally, that didn't bother him, but at the moment, anything he could say would have more meaning than usual.

"And now," Retro continued, "it's time to begin."

"I'm not going to do it! You can't make me!"

Retro simply snapped his fingers.

The mutants picked up the Imaginator and carried it over to Calvin, who was exercising the futility of trying to escape from the chair, but he just couldn't budge.

One of the mutants reached into the back of the machine and pulled out a helmet with a long rubber tube attaching them. He stretched it over to Calvin and proceeded to strap it onto the boy's ahead, despite his best efforts to dodge it. In moments, Calvin was attached to the machine.

"Here we go," Retro said with a gleeful smirk.

His fingers started doing a little ditty over a keyboard, typing away like crazy, and a moment later, everyone heard the sounds of machines powering up.

Calvin looked to Hobbes, hoping his friend would wake up and save him, but for some reason, he wasn't standing up.

And then he felt something racing through his head.

"STOP!" he yelled. "MAKE IT STOP!"

"Relax, kid! It won't kill you!" Retro yelled back over the noise. "I can't steal imagination from a _dead_ brain!"

Calvin continued to yell and scream his tiny little lungs out. "HOBBES! WAKE UP! HOBBES! HELP ME!"

And then, he felt a surge of memories come racing at him. Scattered images and distant voices flew across his mind as the Imaginator dug deep inside his brain, trying to find something it could use.

"_I don't want to pay any dues in life. I want to be a one-in-a-million, overnight success! I want the world handed to me on a silver platter!_"

_Hobbes rolled his eyes and walked away. "Good luck."_

"_SURELY YOU CONCEDE I _DESERVE _IT!"_

It dug deeper…

"_Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves."_

…and deeper…

"_Sometimes I think I learn more when I stay home from school."_

…and deeper…

"_There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse."_

…and _dee-ee-ee-ee-eeper_…

"_Don't die, little raccoon. It wouldn't be very grateful of you to break my heart."_

…and deeper _still_…

"_Who's the bimbo with you in this old prom picture?"_

…Yeah, still deeper…

"_You brought a snowman to life?"_

"_I didn't think he'd be evil!"_

"_What are we going to do?"_

Wait… It liked this one…

"_This is really creepy."_

"_Now he's made a big snowball and he's putting rocks and sticks on it. I wonder what he's making. Ewww! He's giving himself two weird heads!"_

Yes… This would work…

"_Any time the sun wanted to come out, it would be just fine with me."_

"Now _he's added another _arm_! He's turned himself into a Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goon!"_

"AAAAUUUUUUUGGHH!" Calvin screamed, and his entire body surged.

There was a rumbling noise in the middle of the room, followed by a flash of light.

When it cleared, everyone stared at what was in the room.

There were ten rather large and ugly-looking snowmen, each with their own special deformities, lumbering around and making loud grumbling noises.

Calvin was exhausted from the Imaginator's effects, but he still had the strength to look at the creatures and know what they were. "Look what you've done…," he said, panting heavily. "You've got a whole gang of Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons in your lab. They'll rip you apart. And it's not nearly cold enough in here to freeze them."

Retro just smirked. "What, these harmless piles of snowflakes? Eh, you're not so tough, are you, big fella?" he said, bumping his fist on one of the Snow Goons' shoulder.

The monster snowman just grunted in response.

Calvin squinted in confusion. "What…?"

"Do you really think I'm so stupid? All the brainless life that comes through this machine is filtered to serve me. Whatever comes out of the Imaginator can only be controlled by me. All of your imagination will be under _my_ control!"

Calvin groaned in frustration.

To emphasis his point, Retro rounded on the Snow Goons. "Right then! Snow Goons, I believe you're called? Time to get started on wreaking havoc! Go wait outside in the snow where you won't melt. The rest of Calvin's mind will be with you shortly."

The Snow Goons merely grunted before turning to leave, slithering out of the room, leaving ten trails of water behind them for the mutants in lab coats to mop up.

Calvin could only stare, nodding off from fatigue. His head began to tilt to the side, and his eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier.

Retro caught sight of him and proceeded to gently pat his cheek, straightening him up again. "Now, now, don't go to sleep _just _yet. You'll miss all the fun! There's so much more to do!"

"No…," Calvin moaned pitifully. "No more. Please…"

Retro chuckled. "Ohh, my dear boy… _We've only just begun_."

And with a dramatic flair, he traipsed back to the machinery and typed like mad on the keyboard, sending orders and commands back into the Imaginator to start digging again.

Calvin felt the helmet warming up. "Ohhh…," he moaned, feeling tears coming to his eyes. "No…"

And that was the last thing he said for the next half hour.

The thirty minutes that followed were the most painful and most excruciating experience of Calvin's life. More painful than ten beatings from Moe. More painful than a thousand spankings from his parents. More painful than sitting through Miss Wormwood's math class.

And he gave up on screaming about five minutes in. He just gritted his teeth through the rest of it.

He could only watch the room changing colors, dimly aware that more and more creatures were entering the room. He couldn't see much through the tears running down his face, but he could make out certain things like a giant boa constrictor, an evil bicycle, a living lightning bolt, a giant octopus, a whole gang of robots, and dinosaurs. There were lots of dinosaurs.

All he could hear was the sound of Retro's triumphant laughter, reverberating all across the room.

And he didn't know it, but it wasn't just creatures he was creating…

* * *

"CALVIN! I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU ANYMORE! I'M _TELLING _YOU! GET BACK IN HERE NOW!"

Rosalyn had been shouting for an hour now. Calvin was nowhere in sight. She had been around the house five times, searched every shrub, checked the tool shed, climbed up the tree house and a few other trees as well, but there was just no sign. She'd been running around in circles for so long that her own footprints had blended in with Calvin's, so she wouldn't have been able to tell where he'd gone.

She finally leaned against a tree, exhausted from all that running around, and she tried to stay calm. "Okay… The little twerp _isn't _outside. He must've snuck back in the house. Darn. I'm pretty sure he's pulled this on me before…"

She turned and started to head for the back door.

However, something stopped her.

It was the ground. To be more specific, it was the ground's _shaking_.

She looked around, trying to pinpoint just what was happening. She turned and saw the glow coming from the hills in the distance.

"What the heck is that?" she asked herself.

The rumbling was getting stronger. She was just about to head into the house when the glow grew with intensity. It took her longer than she would've liked to admit to realize that the two must be connected in some way.

Then she realized that a light was coming through the trees, almost like aliens were landing, and their ship had very powerful headlights, and it was throwing shadows all over the place.

Before she had any time to react, the light reached her, and the last thing she heard was her own scream.

* * *

Susie was getting ready for bed, exhausted after a long day of playing outside. She was just getting on her pajamas and trying to find a book to read before going to bed when she felt the rumbling as well.

The day had been going so well. With Calvin grounded, she was safe from any attacks, and the weirdo asking about him hadn't shown up again, so she thought everything would be okay after a while.

Of course, she'd been irritated by the sound of Rosalyn shouting for Calvin for over an hour. She hoped that either the little blonde idiot would show up at some point, or maybe Rosalyn would grow hoarse, but neither seemed to be happening.

Finally, the shouting stopped, and she went to her window to see if any sort of activity was going on two doors down.

She couldn't see any signs of life, but she _did_ see the light that was racing over the treetops like a tidal wave. She let out an involuntary squeak of horror.

The entire world seemed to change shape, and she knew no more.

* * *

"I'm just saying," Dad was saying on the way home, "that if we had a dog, like _I _wanted, we could do this sort of thing all the time."

"Dear, please, you've been whining about a dog for years. Let it go. Maybe when Calvin's older, we'll get a dog."

"No pugs."

"Oh, now you're getting picky? Besides, dogs can be just as much work as kids."

"Dogs don't go to college."

"No, but they still need to be cared for."

"Dogs don't throw water balloons at the neighbors. Or us."

"They lick your face immediately after drinking out of the toilet."

"Dogs don't bring home D's when you know they should be getting A's."

"Oh, for crying out loud! This is our son you're talking about! You're really trying to win this argument?"

"Dear, he's a bad kid. We both know it."

"You're just saying that because your wallet is suffering from 'babysitter fatigue'."

"Just wait. One day, he'll _really_ screw up, and you'll agree with me."

"Dear, please. Just…"

They trailed off when they saw the light coming.

"What's that?" Mom asked.

"Surprise, surprise," Dad sighed. "It's coming from the direction of _our _neighborhood."

"Dear, you don't know if it's Calvin's fault."

"I just have a gut feeling."

Suddenly, the light expanded, and it startled them with its intensity. Dad put on the brakes, and they slowly came to a halt, watching in amazement as it grew brighter and bigger.

Before either of them could say anything, they were stunned into silence by the houses lining the streets changing design, become more warped and twisted and sprouting high into the sky, and the road changed from black to purple, and the sky turned red with blue stripes, and the clouds became green and pink, and their car turned into a jet-powered car.

And they themselves were changing, too! They suddenly had on brightly-colored jumpsuits and black masks, and they were beginning to forget who they were or that they even had any kids, especially a kid named Calvin…

* * *

The corners of Retro's mouth twitched with glee as he watched on the monitors that were linked with security cameras. He observed the transformation of the Earth into his own colorful kingdom.

"Finally…," he whispered. "At long last, it's happening!"

Calvin was about ready to pass out. Every last bit of his mind was being scraped like the bottom of a barrel. The Imaginator was reaching into everything it could find in his memories or subconscious.

By now, however, Hobbes was beginning to regain consciousness. He looked around just in time to realize that a stegosaurus was about to step on him, and with an undignified yelp, he dove out of its way, watching in amazement as it walked through the huge door that allowed it to leave.

His memories of what had happened earlier flew back into his head, and he remembered where he was. He immediately bounded through the room on all fours, trying to dodge all the strange, strange creatures that seemed to be materializing out of nowhere.

Finally, he found Retro, still working at the controls. For the briefest of moments, he flashed back to a few days ago when they were escaping the strange claw-car, and he remembered the faint glimpse he'd gotten of the man climbing up the chasm towards them. He realized this was the same man.

And then he saw Calvin, attached to the machine, tears streaming down his face, losing energy and in absolute pain.

This man was hurting Calvin.

With a feral roar that was on loan from hell, Hobbes suddenly reared up and attacked Retro with all his might, knocking the man to the ground and pinning him on the floor.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BEST FRIEND?!" he roared.

Retro looked momentarily horrified by his situation, but after a moment, he registered Hobbes' arrival, and he did something the tiger wasn't expecting.

He started laughing. It was deranged, insane and a little bit unnerving.

"Even you…," he giggled. "Even you, dear tiger… My Imaginator has made me able to see you the way _he _does!"

"… What? What the heck does that even mean?"

Retro managed to push Hobbes off of himself. "Join the others, tiger!" he commanded, pointing after his ever-growing army. "Join them and do my bidding!"

Hobbes blinked. "I just attacked you, and you think I'm going to do what _you_ tell me?" he demanded. "Your brain's clearly on back-order, buster. What the heck are you doing to my friend?"

Retro's smug superiority began to fade. "You're not doing my bidding…," he said quietly.

"No kidding," Hobbes replied, starting to growl again as he dropped to all fours and bared his fangs at him. "Now how about _you_ do _my_ bidding and let him go?"

Retro started to back away, but then they were both interrupted by a beeping sound coming from the computer he'd been working at.

There was a large graphic flashing that read: "WORLD DOMINATION – 100 PERCENT COMPLETE"

Retro grinned broadly. "Looks like I'm finished anyway! You can have your little friend back now. I'm all through with him." He walked over to the control panel and pressed a single button.

Calvin suddenly let out a loud scream before finally slumping in the chair, passed out.

Hobbes immediately ran over to him and tried to check for a pulse, even though he didn't actually know how.

"Oh, don't fret," Retro said calmly, apparently bored by the display of concern. "Life signs indicate he's merely unconscious. Fascinating how a tiger can understand love for a human…"

Hobbes slumped with relief against his friend before turning to Retro again, with an angry look in his eyes. He began to growl again.

Retro simply snapped his fingers.

Two mutants in lab coats suddenly appeared on either side of him, grabbing him by both arms. He growled and roared, trying to scratch them with the claws on his hind feet, but even though he connected several times, they seemed oblivious to any pain. They silently carried him over to a chain on the wall that had a cuff on the end, and they forced Hobbes' neck inside of it, trapping him.

The tiger struggled and snarled, trying to wrench himself free, but it was no good, and eventually, he had no choice but to give up.

"How touching," Retro said patronizingly. "Seems as though the feline has free will?"

"Why wouldn't I have free will?" Hobbes grumbled.

"Well, none of the other creatures the Imaginator created did…"

Hobbes blinked. "Wait, the _what_-inator?"

Retro sighed. "Ohhh, must we go through this again?"

He pointed at himself.

"Me – Retro Griffin – evil genius bent on taking over the world."

He pointed at the Imaginator.

"That – Imaginator – device that has brought me power over the world."

He pointed at the mutants.

"Them – failed rejects – created by me and my warped brain."

Then he pointed at Calvin.

"Him – stupid child – I have brought his imagination to life with Imaginator. His brain is still young and moldable."

Finally, he pointed at Hobbes.

"You – tiger – chained to wall. You're going to stay there until I decide how I can break you and bend you to my will."

And then, he pointed at the door.

"That – door – through which I shall be leaving to see what form the world has taken and to plan my base of operations. Tootle-loo!"

And with that, Retro walked away, flanked by the two mutants.

Hobbes tried to yank himself free from the wall, but the chain was abnormally strong. After three more attempts, he found his neck was already too sore for him to continue trying. He slumped on the floor, feeling despair rearing its ugly head as he settled down and the adrenaline of recent events wore off.

He looked over at Calvin again. He was still slumped in the chair, with the Imaginator's helmet tilted over his closed eyes. Hobbes was still unclear as to what had just happened, but there was very little he could do about it. He would just have to wait until Calvin woke up again.

Hobbes swallowed heavily. He could only imagine what state Calvin would be in once he finally _did_ awaken.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_This is pretty much the turning point in Calvin's life. This is the first time he has known true suffering. And it's only the beginning..._


	8. Responsibility

Space…

There's still a lot of it.

At the moment, a small spaceship was flying away from Earth, and the two small aliens that inhabited it were looking forward to returning home.

They had taken Calvin's advice and gone to Mexico. They had swapped out their usual outfits for flowery-shirts with the sleeves swinging limply back and forth. They wore straw hats and had flip-flops on their tentacles.

"That was a most excellent holiday," Galaxoid said pleasantly.

"Indeed," Nebular agreed. "We should go again next year! I quite enjoyed the beverage named 'Shirley Temple'."

"And hang gliding! Earth's lighter gravity really intensified the exhilaration of flying through the air, hanging onto the handle bar by our teeth!"

"It was so kind of them to let us keep them after that."

As they were trying to get the warp drive working again so they could be home within a few hours, they noticed that the picture of Earth on their screens seemed to be changing.

"Wait," Nebular announced. "Our computers indicate a change in the planet as a whole."

Galaxoid used a flip-flop wearing tentacle to press a button, and they watched as the image expanded.

They watched in amazement as the blue, white and green planet changed into different colors, including red, pink, purple, yellow and black.

"What's happening to it?" Nebular asked.

"I'm not sure," Galaxoid murmured. "I wonder if this is natural."

"Nothing in our data gathered on the planet's natural state suggests that anything like this would happen."

The Earth continued to change color, and streaks of lightning seemed to be flaring up around the planet, all over varying colors of their own. Dark red clouds billowed in all directions, contradicting the laws of physics as they crossed over each other, and they flashed with white light once in a while.

The two aliens were becoming a wee bit concerned.

"That's not right," Galaxoid said quietly. "Either they're having some sort of fluctuation in weather patterns, or someone is doing something to the planet."

"We must consult the Earth Potentate," Nebular suggested.

Galaxoid nodded and approached the computer. He proceeded to typing in commands, still wearing flip-flops on his tentacles, and began to scan the planet.

A few seconds later, it beeped triumphantly.

"We have him!" Galaxoid said triumphantly. "According to this, his life signs are emanating from within a large hill close to his home. We'll head there and speak with him."

"Inputting the coordinates," Nebular replied.

Within a few seconds, the ship was turning around and heading back towards the planet below, which continued to fluctuate and spasm with energy as they dove into the red clouds that continued to churn menacingly.

* * *

_The rain that was pouring down over the city obscured the night sky. It was the soggiest night to have ever graced existence in years. The sewers roared with the sound of a torrent surging through its underground tunnels, not that anyone was around to notice._

_No one except for one man…_

_He walked down the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette as he wrapped his trench coat around himself tightly. His fedora was badly battered, and he had a bruise on his eye._

"_I had been on a case. Not a decent case, but it paid well. The dame had wanted me to find proof that her boyfriend was dealing drugs in a back alley behind a deli that was downtown. Downtown was a dangerous place – drug dealers, black market, gambling and cock fights."_

_He rubbed his aching ribs. He wouldn't be surprised if they were broken._

"_My name's Bullet. Tracer Bullet. I'm a private eye. My job is to investigate the crime and scum in our fair city and keep it safe for the average working stiff. I take my job very seriously. So seriously that I have to carry the unfunniest companion I could ever have – a flask of whisky._

_He limped along, feeling weak._

"_It was here in downtown that I made my mistake. Possibly the biggest mistake I could've made. Normally, I'm not one to make mistakes like this. I mean, we all screw up once in a while. I once let three broads who had blackmailed the mayor escape when they managed to see through my French Maid disguise. But it all evened out in the end. This was one of the biggest screw ups of my life, and I could never forgive myself."_

_He leaned against a building, trying to get his vision to focus._

"_I knew downtown was dangerous, and I knew that it would only mean trouble. I figured: what have I got to lose? I've been smoking sense I was fourteen. I've been drinking bourbon since I was sixteen. I've been gambling since I was twelve. Odds are I would be dead by the time I was twenty. But I forgot something important – I have a partner."_

_He couldn't find the strength to walk anymore._

"_Tiger Eye wasn't his real name, but it suited him to a tee. He had the tenacity of a tiger, the cunning of a cat and the eyes of a marble. He had been working with me for the past few years. I had gone to the trouble of covering for him when he ended up being the culprit in some dame's case. He'd broken into her house, but it turned out she'd had a few skeletons in her closet that the police were interested in, so I was willing to turn the other cheek and give him a job."_

_He began to fall to his knees on the pavement._

"_Now I had gotten him involved in my screw up. Usually, we had each other's backs, but in this scenario, I had been determined to enter the most dangerous nightclub of all. This place was so violent that the fleas were too scared to go in. But I knew the culprit was inside, and he needed to be apprehended. Even Tiger Eye was trying to talk me out of it. It took a lot of arguing, but eventually, I talked_ him_ into it. We went in, asked for our man, and he and twelve of the toughest goons we'd ever seen descended on us. They had fists the size of Ohio, and they looked about as attractive as Pittsburgh."_

_He sat down, still leaning against the wall, his head swimming._

"_I barely escaped with my life, but I _did _escape without a few teeth and about a pint of blood, and I was probably losing more. I tried to find Tiger Eye, but he was missing in action. I can't stand myself anymore. I don't deserve the hospital my body is crying out for. I need to find the cops. I need a SWAT team. I need someone more competent than myself to rescue Tiger Eye. He could be dead for all I know. And it's all my fault…"_

_His eyelids grew heavy._

"…_It's all my fault…"_

_His head tilted forwards._

"…_all my fault…"_

* * *

"Wake up!" Hobbes suddenly shouted.

Calvin's head was still swimming, but he stared up at Hobbes, who was looking at him determinedly, his steely cat eyes boring into him.

"…_Hobbes_?" he managed to croak through his dry throat. "What… what happened…?"

"Are you okay?" Hobbes asked quietly yet urgently.

"… I think so… I have a throbbing headache."

"Don't worry. The medication should take care of that."

"What medication?"

Hobbes stepped aside and gestured to two figures on the other side of the room,

It was Galaxoid and Nebular, both back in their uniforms, complete with pointy hats.

"You are awake, Earth Potentate," Galaxoid remarked. "We are pleased for your recovery."

Calvin blinked heavily. "… What did you guys do to me?"

"We merely injected you with a serum that repairs all mental damage," Nebular replied. "Our friends from the planet Delfron gave us some."

"That bottle's been sitting in our medicine cabinet for nine passages of our sun. I'm glad we finally found a decent use for it," Galaxoid muttered.

"Can you guys get him out?" Hobbes asked, gesturing to the metal bands that held him down to the chair.

The two aliens looked around the lab curiously.

"Yes, this technology looks rather simple," Galaxoid said, sounding unimpressed. "We _should _be able to release him quite easily."

They went over to the main control panel and looked over the buttons, trying to decipher which ones were which.

Finally, they smiled triumphantly, and Nebular pressed down on a button.

The bands retreated back into their housing, and Calvin's arms and legs were freed.

Hobbes went over and unbuckled the helmet for the Imaginator and lifted it off of his friend's head.

"Wow," he said, sounding lightly amused. "That thing really screwed up your hair."

Calvin didn't even react. He was still staring off into space.

Hobbes had never seen his eyes look so hollow before. "Buddy? You okay?" he asked, trying to look into the pale blue orbs.

"… Where's Retro? What's he done?" Calvin asked blandly.

"He basically ransacked your brain and released every single creature in your head into the real world."

"He has altered the entire planet," Galaxoid said. "We saw it from above. While the planet's shape and basic geography is relatively unchanged – all your continents are still where they were – everything else has been changed into a nightmare."

"There are hideous creatures roaming around, by land, sky and sea," Nebular added. "Everything's a complete mess. This place _used_ to be prime real estate!"

Hobbes sighed heavily. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Calvin said, slumping down in the uncomfortable chair. "And I don't care."

Hobbes turned to look at him. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes."

"… Are you okay?"

"No, Hobbes, I'm _not_ okay!" Calvin suddenly snapped. It was the loudest he'd been since he'd woken up. "I just got us both captured by an evil creep with a machine that can rip your memories out of your head and make them real, and he's used everything in _my_ head to conquer the world, and I almost got us both killed! How the _heck _am I supposed to be okay?!"

"Well…," Hobbes said slowly, "usually when you screw up, you never seem all that bothered by it. You just blame somebody else for it and move on."

Calvin just slumped back into the chair, wearing the most depressed expression anyone had ever seen. "There's no one else to blame," he said quietly. "It really _is _all my fault. If I hadn't been so curious and just stayed in the house like a good boy, none of this would have happened. He lured us here, Hobbes. The light over the hill was just to get me curious enough to come here. If I'd just ignored it and stayed grounded, then we'd be safe at home, and the world wouldn't be a complete mess. It's all my fault. All of it."

There was a long silence that followed this.

Calvin just wallowed in self-pity, looking like he was going to cry.

Galaxoid and Nebular just stood there, not sure what to say.

Hobbes mulled over several different responses in his head, knowing that whatever he said would probably change the course of the entire fate of humanity.

Finally, he knew what to say.

"You're right. It _is _your fault."

Calvin's head came up, stunned. "What?"

"You're right. _It is _your_ fault_."

Calvin didn't know what to say, so Hobbes kept going.

"It's _your_ fault that humanity has been taken over by a madman in a basement. So you know what you need to do? You need to take responsibility for your actions, learn a lesson for once, and solve the problem. You got humanity into this mess, and now it's time to stop crying over spilt milk and get them out of it! You need to save the world, Calvin, from _your _imagination. All those creatures _you_ dreamed up can still be defeated by _you_. We just need to think of a plan."

For a long moment, Calvin didn't say anything. He was just staring at his best friend in disbelief.

After a lengthy silence, he cracked a small tired grin.

"Thanks for saying 'we'."

Hobbes smiled and held out a hand.

Calvin took it, and he found himself being lifted out of the chair and into a big furry hug that seemed to re-energize him.

At last, he got down onto the floor and looked around. "Okay!" he declared, trying to reclaim his unshakeable and sometimes misplaced self-confidence. "Time to go to work! What do we know about the Imaginator other than that it can create things from the mind?"

"It also has a filter that makes everything it creates obey Retro," Hobbes said.

"Anything else?"

"It's really primitive," Galaxoid said suddenly.

"Indeed," Nebular agreed. "But it would still take a long time to figure out how it works."

Calvin thought for a long moment. "Okay… Well, we have _one _advantage."

"What's that?" Hobbes asked.

"They're creatures from _my _mind. I've literally seen them all at some point. I know their strengths and weaknesses."

"I see… And we're going to exploit all those weaknesses all on our own? Just the two of us?"

"Of course not! We've got Galaxoid and Nebular to help us!"

The two aliens looked momentarily startled, but they managed to pull themselves together.

"If you require our assistance, Earth Potentate, we'd be happy to help," Galaxoid said quickly.

"Enough with the 'Earth Potentate' stuff," Calvin said. "Just 'Calvin' will do fine."

"Very well, _Calvin_. What will you have us do?"

"Give us a ride. We need to add more to our little gang. I can think of three guys who might be willing to help…"


End file.
